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When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture.

Doug Coupland
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Nothing very very good and nothing very very bad ever lasts for very very long.
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I think the killers get far too much attention.
Doug Coupland
Depression is when you have lots of love, but no one's taking.
Doug Coupland
Forget sex or politics or religion, loneliness is the subject that clears out a room.
Doug Coupland
Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a structureless life.
Doug Coupland
Failure is authentic, and because it's authentic, it's real and genuine, and because of that, it's a pure state of being.
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When you crop the photo, you tell a lie.
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Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.
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Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.
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It's difficult to speak with beautiful people. No matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise, you still want them to like you.
Doug Coupland
If you're not a tree hugger, then you're a what, a tree hater?
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Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation.
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Your body isn't just a body. It's an ecosystem.
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Doug Coupland
People are pretty forgiving when it comes to other people's families. The only family that ever horrifies you is your own.
Doug Coupland
Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure.
Doug Coupland
Your ability to rationalize your own bad deeds makes you believe that the whole world is as amoral as you are.
Doug Coupland
Birds are a miracle because they prove to us there is a finer, simpler state of being which we may strive to attain.
Doug Coupland
I don't want any vegetables, thank you. I paid for the cow to eat them for me.
Doug Coupland
There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.
Doug Coupland
Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.
Doug Coupland
If your life had lyrics, would they be any good?
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Never loan a book to someone if you expect to get it back. Loaning books is the same as giving them away.
Doug Coupland
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Doug Coupland
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Doug Coupland
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Doug Coupland