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I was born in my parents' bedroom on January 16. The World Almanac says it was 1909. I say it was 1912. But what difference does it make as long as I feel 33?

Ethel Merman
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The slapdash way producers used to assemble a show seems a little unbelievable when we talk about them now.
Ethel Merman
Eisenhower was my war hero and the President I admire and respect most.
Ethel Merman
Music, in the past few years... anything singable or understandable is square.
Ethel Merman
I can never remember being afraid of an audience. If the audience could do better, they'd be up here on stage and I'd be out there watching them.
Ethel Merman
Any audience that gets a laugh out of me gets it while I'm facing them.
Ethel Merman
If I feel in need of sleep, I just open a book or turn on the television. Both are better than any sleeping pill.
Ethel Merman
I wouldn't change one thing about my professional life, and I make it a point not to dwell on my mistakes.
Ethel Merman
Legend has it that when God created me, he gave me a big distinctive voice, a lot of boldness and no heart.
Ethel Merman
Christmas carols always brought tears to my eyes. I also cry at weddings. I should have cried at a couple of my own.
Ethel Merman
Of my four marriages, the one to Bob Levitt is the only one I don't regret.
Ethel Merman
Mom and Pop were proud of my popularity, but from their point of view, show business was no way to make a living.
Ethel Merman
Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice.
Ethel Merman
At a flea market I always head for the junk jewelry table first.
Ethel Merman
I'll pat myself on the back and admit I have talent. Beyond that, I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.
Ethel Merman
I have been ambitious to be a somebody from the time I was 5 years old.
Ethel Merman
I have plenty of invitations to go places, lots to do. If I'm not working, I go to have my hair taken care of and work at needlepoint.
Ethel Merman
When I'm asked how to succeed in show business, I always say I haven't the foggiest.
Ethel Merman
I don't like to read. The only things I read are gossip columns. If someone gives me a book, it had better have lots of pictures.
Ethel Merman
Mom claimed that I could carry a tune at 2 or 3 years of age. Maybe she was a little prejudiced.
Ethel Merman
I've made a wonderful living playing that theatrical character - the professional brassy dame.
Ethel Merman
Who's happy these days?
Ethel Merman
In my case, things have pretty much been handed to me.
Ethel Merman
Once I had all the attention, all I had to do was deliver.
Ethel Merman
You gotta have a gimmick.
Ethel Merman
My career at Warner Brothers consisted of one musical short subject. I was running around in a bear skin. Very chic.
Ethel Merman
There's such a thing as theater discipline. One player doesn't appropriate another's inventions.
Ethel Merman
Cole Porter had a worldwide reputation as a sophisticate and hedonist.
Ethel Merman
I've never cooked. I can't do much more in the kitchen than make a cup of tea and some toast.
Ethel Merman
My father taught me to read music and play the piano-but not well, even though people have said that I'm a natural musician.
Ethel Merman
I'll admit - I was honored to be on the cover of Time.
Ethel Merman
Broadway has been very good to me. But then, I've been very good to broadway.
Ethel Merman
There have been people who have tried to take advantage of me. They want to be linked to me just because I'm Ethel Merman.
Ethel Merman
I am known to be able to take care of myself when I become angry. I don't mince words.
Ethel Merman
My beloved Mom and Pop always rated tops with each other, and that's the way it will always be.
Ethel Merman
I can hold a note as long as the Chase National Bank.
Ethel Merman
I wouldn't trust any man as far as you can throw a piano.
Ethel Merman
As far as dramas are concerned, it's considered passe for playwrights to turn out anything the average person can understand.
Ethel Merman
I Got Rhythm really put me on the map.
Ethel Merman
I take a breath when I have to.
Ethel Merman
I've never suffered stage fright. That fascinates people.
Ethel Merman
I preferred delivering my performance in person. I liked to be in control. You couldn't be in films.
Ethel Merman
I attend surprisingly few shows. The type of theater that is popular today just doesn't appeal to me.
Ethel Merman
When you are in deep conflict about something, sometimes the most trivial thing can tip the scales.
Ethel Merman
I wasn't straining at the bit to become a movie star any more than I had plotted to get out of vaudeville and into Broadway musicals.
Ethel Merman
Everything's coming up roses - for me.
Ethel Merman
At one time I smoked, but in 1959 I couldn't think of anything else to give up for Lent so I stopped-and I haven't had a cigarette since.
Ethel Merman
Cole Porter wrote Anything Goes and four more hits for me.
Ethel Merman
I work as often as I want and yet I'm free as a bird.
Ethel Merman