A laugh is a terrible weapon.

Hmmm... I never get the answer I think I'm going to get.

My mom always said that if the Protestants catch a Catholic in their church, they feed them to the Jews.

A laugh is a terrible weapon.

If somebody on this team actually gets to first base, I'll stand there naked.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

It's filled with... baking soda. Because it really smells.

I only use my sick days for hang-overs and soap opera weddings.

If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny.

Life is a sum of all your choices.

I am 73 years old. I've seen everything. I've met the kings, the queens, the presidents, I've been around the world. I have one thing that I would like to do: to try to reach peace.

I'm too young to have experienced firsthand the '70s rock, but when I was in high school, me and my friends were super into Neil Young. That was the grunge era, and he was considered cool again.

In truth, even if they have an imperfect insight into their own methods, I still slightly mistrust writers of fiction who are assured literary critics; it makes me suspect that they favour the word over the world it should describe. Such scribes fall victim too easily to the solecism of equating style with morality.

Most women are not programmed to prefer a great career to a great man and a family. They feel they were sold a bill of goods at college and by the media.

Best fight ever in a movie: 'They Live.' I want to do a martial arts version of that, where you think it's ended, and it just keeps on going. I love that fight. It was funny as well. Unexpected.

I feel like girls in general will always worry about the same things, and it's all appearance related. That will always be there. When you grow older, you grow more confident with who you are.

I think faith helps me a lot. God wants you to be where He wants you to be, and that's where I want to be. If I do not get a part, I understand that maybe I needed to be home at that time, maybe in school; there's always a reason. My faith is also where my core friends are, at my church, a faith-based friendship.

Don't ever let your business get ahead of the financial side of your business. Accounting, accounting, accounting. Know your numbers.

My father worked for the railroad, and whenever a train crashed, we would go as a family and steal food from the boxcars. One year we stole a case of butterscotch pudding that was for export to Israel. It took us years to get through.

I'm a great believer in the direct quote in quotation marks and the hard fact.

The education I received was a British education, in which British ideas, British culture, British institutions, were automatically assumed to be superior. There was no such thing as African culture.

Super Troopers is hilarious. Everybody always thought we somehow - we did Reno way, way before any of us had seen Super Troopers. It sat on the shelf for a couple years.

If we are not our brothers keeper at least let us not be his executioner.

Don't give up. Normally it is the last key on the ring which opens the door.

Obviously classical music tends to be stuff that is usually at least a hundred years old.

While different people may approach opportunities in different ways, we need to base decisions on a fundamental set of values as we chart our course of action.

I enjoyed retirement the right way... linguine con vongole, red wine and plenty of truffle cheese.

In the beginning you will fall into the gaps in between thoughts - after practicing for years, you become the gap.

I'll keep going till my face falls off.

All I do, really, is go to work and try to be professional, be on time and be prepared.

I'm one of the most optimistic persons in the world. I always believed that - there's another shot, another chance. In boxing, I never gave up. I kept trying, kept trying. Even when things seemed so dim, I continued to push forward to make something happen in my favor.

Nature, too, shall live its own life. We must beware not to disrupt it with the color of our houses and interior fittings. yet we should not attempt to bring nature, houses, and human beings together into a higher unity.

You can fool people. You can fool anybody anytime of the day, but you can't fool yourself. At night, when you go home, you've got to be straight up with you.