A laugh is a terrible weapon.

Hmmm... I never get the answer I think I'm going to get.

My mom always said that if the Protestants catch a Catholic in their church, they feed them to the Jews.

A laugh is a terrible weapon.

If somebody on this team actually gets to first base, I'll stand there naked.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

It's filled with... baking soda. Because it really smells.

I only use my sick days for hang-overs and soap opera weddings.

If it bends, it's funny; if it breaks, it's not funny.

If anyone tries to pull us down, it goes to show that we're on top of them, so cheer up! Hilarious but true, insecurity reigns in an ugly heart of an empty brain.

Sheikh Hasina's government is one of the best Bangladesh has ever had. She is taking action against fundamentalists. But even she refused to let me return. I don't think I can ever return home.

I am an American citizen and feel I am entitled to the same rights as any other citizen.

We finally sat down and asked ourselves how much of our lives we wanted to give everybody. We had just given a little too much, and it started to become a burden.

You can't carve up the world. It's not a pie.

The trouble is that the hockey stick graph become an icon and deniers reckoned if they could smash the icon, the whole concept of global warming would be destroyed with it.

Why am I the way I am? Well, I used to be different.

To win Olympic gold has been a dream for me for seven or eight years now, so it was amazing to actually achieve that.

There are plenty of guys who played great golf, had great careers and only won a few majors.

You need a lot of luck to find people with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. Some people manage to find their soul mate. Others don't. I think love is like a lottery.

You see a child play, and it is so close to seeing an artist paint, for in play a child says things without uttering a word. You can see how he solves his problems. You can also see what's wrong. Young children, especially, have enormous creativity, and whatever's in them rises to the surface in free play.

I am passionate about finding undiscovered and talented artists. I want to help those artists get to the next level and provide existing artists with a new way to reach fans. I wanted to partner with the Cutting Edge Group because they share my vision and have a proven track record in innovation in the music business.

I was born Maurice Joseph Micklewhite. Imagine signing that autograph! You'd get a broken arm. So I changed my name to Michael Caine after Humphrey Bogart's 'The Caine Mutiny,' which was playing in the theater across from the telephone booth where I learned that I'd gotten my first TV job.

A poet or prose narrator usually looks back on what he has achieved against a backdrop of the years that have passed, generally finding that some of these achievements are acceptable, while others are less so.

I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'

I'm from a middle class family, but my father squandered all the money, so I didn't really run around with rich people.

Poetry is something I love to do. Good poetry has an amazing ability to be communicative before it's even understood. I get emotional just from the beauty of words.

Rather than wishing for change, you first must be prepared to change.

My parents were passionate about what they did, very cheap, and very focused on doing good in society.

Opening Day was a big thing. I came to a lot of Orioles games. I grew up a couple blocks from here, so I was always coming down to the stadium. I always made it down for Opening Day until I was a little bit older and I had ball. But when I was younger, I always missed school.

When people feel threatened by you, they find something that is belittling.

Lots of people talk to animals.. Not very many listen, though.. That's the problem.

True success is overcoming the fear of being unsuccessful.

My hope for this country is that we remain a people who value freedom, who have the courage to face the realities with faithful hearts instead of anxious ones.