I'm happy to say that I'm a lesbian in the world. I know there are people who don't want to be called women comedians, but I think it gives a path to the fact that we live in extremely patriarchal times.

They didn't even like Margaret Thatcher but at least there was Margaret Thatcher. There have been women, you know, Sonia Gandhi for heaven's sakes in India.

As you can imagine I'm disappointed as anything that I was not selected to be the presidential running mate. And I find it continually appalling that it would be a radical thing to have a woman on the ticket.

I try something new every night. It's an hour show; if it works I maybe try it a few more times and then move that off and try something new. It's a great workshop for me.

When my brother-in-law, BIll Clinton, was elected, he had gay friends. That was a coming out.

I'm really happy that I was raised Catholic because it's given me years of material.

I want to host a religious show. I'm sure nobody will be wanting the 11 o'clock spot on Sunday morning. I think we should really get some of our own preachers and preach that gay is good. And we'd have a great choir.

Lesbian humor isn't trying to sell anything, it doesn't have to sell out. Coming out as a lesbian onstage is still a very political act; if it weren't, more women would do it.

Some women can't say the word lesbian... even when their mouth is full of one.

We signed up for Showtime, which I think put us on a Homeland Security list somewhere.

What goes for sex goes double for politics.

I consider a CD or a comedy collection as a record of what I've been doing, and I try to wrap it up and start new material.

Lesbians are likely to be drawn to stand-up, if only because it's cheaper to produce and therefore more accessible for women. But the very form of stand-up is masculine.

My style has been pretty much like a newspaper. It's got politics in it, it's got media, sports, family relations, you know, all the sections you would expect, and wonderful religion things.

I definitely want people to laugh because I don't think there's a better feeling - I think it's just so fabulous to laugh. I don't mind if people think, either. I think the brain is a very sexy organ.

We really got a lot of very conservative gay people. You could look at the figures from the last election and realize that a third of the gay movement voted Republican.

A friend of mine said, no matter what I do I always look like an English teacher. She actually said, you still look like a Campbell's Soup kid.

I'm happy to say that I'm a lesbian in the world. I know there are people who don't want to be called women comedians, but I think it gives a path to the fact that we live in extremely patriarchal times.

I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.

My favorite comedians were Jimmy Durante, George Burns, senior citizens.

Comedians are not usually actors, but imitations of actors.

Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.

I was up until all hours of the night, listening to stories, meeting great old comedians.

It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.

It seemed to me you could do anything in comics. So I started doing my thing, which is mainly influenced by novelists, stand-up comedians, that sort of thing.

I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.

Ever since I was a kid, I just loved those comedians on TV who would just have fun with the language.

I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them.

The real good comedians, like Chaplin, would make you laugh and a second later, cry.

Whatever talent I had, I'm sure it helped that my parents were in the business and that I grew up around actors, comedians and directors.

Comedians walk out, get a feel for the crowd. If it's not going good, we change directions. If we got to drag your momma into this thing, we will. Whatever we got to do.

But it's fun to be something, have that, and you don't have to be real. It's like, comedians. They go on and they're doing all these jokes. I would be like that if I were more awake.

I thought comedians had to have black on their faces or red beards.

Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not.

They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever.

That's why modern corporate movie making has become so laborious that comedians are kind of kicked out by 50.

I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.

It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don't work that way. There was a temptation in the early '70s to reconsider. I decided against it.

I have worked with a great many comedians as opposed to comics, although I have worked with comics as well, I make the distinction.

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Normally, I name my characters after famous comedians.

Sure, the comedians who swear or use scatological humor can get laughs, but they're uncomfortable laughs.

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

I do a lot of Vegas work and work with the comedians.

My grandfather was running Hillcrest Country Club, and that's where a whole group of Hollywood comedians hung out.

Comedians still make fun of Bill's out-of-control appetites, but with Hillary, the mockery is about how she lets nothing be out of control.

Performers like Tommy Cooper, who are always getting things wrong, are much more endearing than comedians who are sassy and smart.

The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up.