Однажды в театре молодая капризная актриса заявила: «Жемчуг, который я буду носить в первом акте, должен быть настоящим». «Всё будет настоящим», — успокаивает ее Раневская, — «Всё: и жемчуг в первом действии, и яд — в последнем».

Я не умею выражать сильных чувств, хотя могу сильно выражаться.

Лучше быть хорошим человеком, «ругающимся матом», чем тихой, воспитанной тварью.

Здоровье – это когда у вас каждый день болит в другом месте.

Если больной очень хочет жить, врачи бессильны.

Сказка - это когда женился на лягушке, а она оказалась царевной. А быль - это когда наоборот.

Оптимизм – это недостаток информации.

Животных, которых мало, занесли в Красную книгу, а которых много – в Книгу о вкусной и здоровой пище.

Все приятное в этом мире либо вредно, либо аморально, либо ведет к ожирению.

Под самым красивым хвостом павлина скрывается самая обычная куриная жопа. Так что меньше пафоса, господа.

Жизнь — это затяжной прыжок из п***ы в могилу.

-Вы по-прежнему молоды и прекрасно выглядите. -Я не могу ответить вам таким же комплиментом! -А вы бы, как и я, соврали!

Если женщина идет с опущенной головой – у нее есть любовник! Если женщина идет с гордо поднятой головой – у нее есть любовник! Если женщина держит голову прямо – у нее есть любовник! И вообще – если у женщины есть голова, то у нее есть любовник!

Хрен, положенный на мнение окружающих, обеспечивает спокойную и счастливую жизнь.

Если человек тебе сделал зло, дай ему конфетку. Он тебе – зло, ты ему – конфетку. И так до тех пор, пока у этой твари не разовьется сахарный диабет.

Отпускайте идиотов и клоунов из своей жизни. Цирк должен гастролировать.

Объясняя кому-то, почему презерватив белого цвета, Раневская говорила: «Потому что белый цвет полнит».

Как-то Раневская стояла в своей грим-уборной совершенно голая. И курила. Вдруг к ней без стука вошел директор, распорядитель театра имени Моссовета Валентин Школьников. И ошарашенно замер. Фаина Георгиевна спокойно спросила: «Вас не шокирует, что я курю?».

Раневскую спросили: «Какие, по вашему мнению, женщины склонны к большей верности брюнетки или блондинки?» Не задумываясь она ответила: «Седые!».

Получаю письма: «Помогите стать актером». Отвечаю: «Бог поможет!».

What is appealing is the idea of attaining the unattainable and learning from it. Once you obtain a fantasy it becomes a reality, and that reality is not as exciting as your fantasy. Through the fantasies you learn to appreciate your own realities.

Hopefully as a country, that we learn from our mistakes of the past.

So, Mexico, Brazil, they wanted their national culture to be 'blackish' - really brown, a beautiful brown blend. And finally, I discovered that in each of these societies the people at the bottom are the darkest skinned with the most African features.

Assumptions are usually presumptuous but often correct.

To be honest, making albums is really never easy. It's always a bit excruciating because there's always this fight to make it great, and then you hit these stumbling blocks along the way.

Pat Buchanan attacks me as 'worshipping at the church of GDP.' But in a CNBC 'Kudlow and Company interview', I reminded him that I also worship at the church of Catholic Mass, as do the vast majority of the Mexican immigrants.

I was by far the youngest of the family, and at times it was like being an only child.

For myself, I haven't been content to carry on producing books that merely strain against the conventions - as I've grown older, and realised that there aren't that many books left for me to write, so I've become determined that they should be the fictive equivalent of ripping the damn corset off altogether and chucking it on the fire.

I hate the crazy, neurotic characters beyond a certain point.

Well you just have to own it, I suppose. Own the character, which is difficult.

I don't feel typecast almost at all, and it could just be because I'm insensitive, but I doubt it. I think most of my roles I've gotten have very little to do with my ethnicity. I don't feel that's a limiting factor for my career.

We all know the Internet didn't explode until it became a commercial enterprise. Space communication will probably have the same characteristic.

Well, I was lucky enough to be involved in about 19 failures at an early age, so I'm realistic about the success I'm having and how quickly it can go away. What's important is to be smart about it.

Tradition simply means that we need to end what began well and continue what is worth continuing

I am not in the business of pointing fingers or making excuses. However, recent history has shown that I, like thousands of others in Ireland, incorrectly relied upon the persons who guided Anglo and who wrongfully sought to portray a 'blue chip' Irish banking sector.

American democracy in the past has always been known for its large middle class and its relatively few very wealthy people and very few very poor people, but that is gone to today and the middle class is shrinking.

Every time anybody in Washington talks about legal status, amnesty, anything of that nature, it becomes a magnet that lures people in quickly into the United States.

I've always wanted to work with dogs, so in high school, I worked at the Humane Society for a little while. I honestly think, even today, that would be the other career I would go into. Somehow I would be involved with animals.

The goal isn't how much money you make, but how much you help people.

Hawaii is paradise born of fire.

Everybody thinks they'll never get married at your age. You think you can go on all your life being single, but you suddenly find out that you can't.

Romney and Democratic rival President Obama have led their partisan backers down a trail of lies, negativity and vacuous policies that seem certain to guarantee an angry electorate four more years of gridlock.

I try to pack light with a folding leather suit bag. Anything more than five days, I need to check in my luggage. What takes the most space? Chef jackets, aprons and tools.

Just do your schoolwork, focus on a sport if you're good at it, do what I did.