1. constantly make you prove yourself. 2. communicate passively aggressively. 4. always "just joking". 5. play the victim. 6. kill you with kindness. 7. make your problems feel small. 8. emphasize calm, cool and collective side. 9. use emotional blackmail
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I recently discovered the work of Giorgio Manganelli, who wrote a collection called 'Centuria,' which contains 100 stories, each of them about a page long. They're somewhat surreal and extremely dense, at once fierce and purifying, the equivalent of a shot of grappa. I find it helpful to read one before sitting down to write.