How I really feel everyday

I was this person I really still am, but I just wish that someone would tell me I'm not alone I wish they would help me so I wouldn't only desire that somebody cares how they feel & isn't someone who's fake. I can never ask for help even though I'm hurting I've tried it before but no one came to help.

I used to try to drown my demons but they knew how to swim I wished that they would go away cuz after the day my heart was broken, my demons started to take over me everyday.

I like I said before this I fight my demons everyday but before going on the battle field for strength & hope I pray I know that this will do nothing for me I know there is no point but even though all of this I keep my hopes up high I know that I should just give in but giving in for some reason just feels like a sin.

This all feels so real but why should it not this has been my life since the very start I know that I should stop but It just feels so right to help someone who might be in need to therapy I know I need it too but I would rather figuir things out myself than let another person who I barely know tamper with my brain.

this is the story of my life I've never been so quiet but now days I talk less I sometimes know what's happening but still don't say anything & all I wish for someone else to see what I see so I know I'm not alone.

sometimes I feel like I'm all alone in a small world of mine I first dreamt this world to be wonderful but then I realised that being alone is never a good thing well at least not all the time I tried to bring friends of mine into this world I tried to make them see that beautiful world I created for You & for me. I

Everyday I wake up & I feel like I'm about to fall apart, my soul is shattered, my head is clattered & my heart.. has fallen into a million pieces. I just wish that when I said I'm fine someone would look me in the eye & pull me in for a hug & say "I know you're not" I wish. I just wish that when I said I'm fine.