Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else.

In Hollywood if you are not working, you are a leper. True, you are probably living in the most expensive leper colony in the world.

You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. And there are so many nice-looking shoes.

Even if Scrabble had been invented then, I wouldn't have wanted to play Scrabble, because the highest triple word score in the world would not have expressed how much I liked the game Natalie and I played every afternoon.

Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else.

They sit there in committees day after day, And they each put in a color and it comes out gray. And we all have heard the saying, which is true as well as witty, That a camel is a horse that was designed by a committee.

I was having trouble making ends meet, and my beginnings weren't meeting either.

Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.

The difference between reality and unreality is that reality has so little to recommend it.

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern California is grounds for marriage.

It's a play where something went wrong, 'Cause it's five hours, twelve minutes long. If you sit there, my friend, From beginning 'til end, Then your bladder better be strong!

I have always lived beyond my means. I am still trying to live beyond my means, but it is getting harder all the time. I am very rich.

Somewhere, over the rainbow, Way up tall, There's a land where they've never heard of cholesterol.

Well, you might as well imitate your own program because if you don't, someone else will.

I didn't decide I was crazy until 1952. That's when I began making a steady salary and could afford to be crazy.

When the great history of trouble is written, my family will stand extremely high in the table of contents.

Our act started at the bottom and went downhill.

I had moved out of the Edison Hotel because I couldn't pay the bill and was living at the Lincoln Hotel, where I couldn't pay the bill either, but it was cheaper.

Great success in examinations does naturally not as a rule go with originality of thought.

Achievement is not always success, while reputed failure often is. It is honest endeavor, persistent effort to do the best possible under any and all circumstances.

After my spectacular failures, I could not be satisfied with an ordinary success.

Some of the best lessons we ever learn are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom and success of the future.

The secret to success is to offend the greatest number of people.

I define success as being comfortable with yourself and your life. And that is about as good as it gets, really.

No one is guaranteed happiness. You can pursue it, but if you happen to find success along the way on that road to happiness, Conservatives believe you should not be demonized or penalized for it.

PR is extremely important, and being able to use it in the right way means everything. You have to market your success.

I sort of understood that when I first started: that you shouldn't repeat a success. Very often you're going to, and maybe the first time you do, it works. And you love it. But then you're trapped.

The power of fortune is confessed only by the miserable, for the happy impute all their success to prudence or merit.

Success requires first expending ten units of effort to produce one unit of results. Your momentum will then produce ten units of results with each unit of effort.

When I meet successful people I ask 100 questions as to what they attribute their success to. It is usually the same: persistence, hard work and hiring good people.

It's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.

The key to accepting responsibility for your life is to accept the fact that your choices, every one of them, are leading you inexorably to either success or failure, however you define those terms.

All business success rests on something labeled a sale, which at least momentarily weds company and customer.

Success is sweet and sweeter if long delayed and gotten through many struggles and defeats.

There's no such thing as an overnight success. It took me a long to get there.

The secret to my success is that I bit off more than I could chew and chewed as fast as I could.

Our brave soldiers and support personnel are engaged in a battle as important as any the United States has ever before waged, for the success of democracy in Iraq is a crucial test of the ideals this Nation was founded upon.

With the success of the last three or so years, when a lot of people start treating you differently, there's a danger that you may start to think of yourself differently. You rely on your friends to say, 'Hey, wake up!'

I attribute my success to this - I never gave or took any excuse.

A government for the people must depend for its success on the intelligence, the morality, the justice, and the interest of the people themselves.

And I, uh, I wonder how anybody can think his personality changes with his success. I've had quite a bit of success but I feel that I'm just the same person as I always was.

It's the thing that you do well that brings you to prominence. The very thing that brings you to success can also be like a curse, because then people think that's all you can do.

Success is where preparation and opportunity meet.

Change can either challenge or threaten us. Your beliefs pave your way to success or block you.

The system that enables the most people to earn the most success is free enterprise, by matching up people's skills, interests, and abilities. In contrast, redistribution simply spreads money around. Even worse, it attenuates the ability to earn success by perverting economic incentives.

Our success educationally, industrially and politically is based upon the protection of a nation founded by ourselves. And the nation can be nowhere else but in Africa.

And the success of the union movement, historically, has always been to benefit all working men and women - not just people who belong to the union.

My definition of success is control.

Well I sure had been looking for a comedy for years without any success.