When I was a kid, I was afraid of other kids.

I had no blood relatives till I made some.

Straight people say, 'You know you're just gay,' and gay people say, 'You know you're just gay.' There is such a thing as bisexual!

Guilt is a weird thing to me. I don't have a lot of it.

You cannot be this successful without having God on your side.

When I was a kid, I was afraid of other kids.

There are atheists and Christians, and there are people in both groups who are a little too heavy-handed.

I was a bad boy as a child.

My parents just neglected me, I wasn't abused or anything.

I believed in God my whole life.

I definitely know that I play the part, however big or small, in the deaths of at least two people, Chris Farley and Phil Hartmann.

I have a spiritual advisor I call up, when I just feel lost. Lately, I've been talking to God. I developed this dialogue in rehab, this dialogue with God, and every day I talk to God.

Before I was known, I would go on stage and pretend I was other people. Once I pretended I was mentally handicapped. It was really wrong. One time I was a bad magician. And one time I pretended I was a Christian comic.

I grew up Presbyterian, just a basic Protestant upbringing. There were years in my life when I would go to church every Sunday and to Sunday school. Then I just phased out of it.

I guess I'm odd-looking. I'm skinny. But I'm not only skinny - I'm oddly shaped.

I know it's corny, but laughter is a two-way gift, and hearing people laugh just warms me through and through.

I laugh when I see people in pain. Sometimes I think it is a defense mechanism from childhood, where you're in so much pain you have to laugh. It is a survival mechanism.

I love being recognized. I love talking with - can I say 'fans'?

I never really worked with Chris Farley, I hung out with him, but I had plans, I had big plans, movies, and I was in no hurry.

I really have to edit myself - I need someone with a censor button around me all the time. I'm just a little unaware of what's deemed appropriate.

I say, 'I'm bi, my love knows no gender,' and the straight community says, 'Oh right, that's just a cover-up - you're gay!' And the gay community says, 'Yeah right, that's just a cover-up - you're gay.' They both want to push me gay.

I used to steal a lot. But I don't do that anymore, because I believe in karma.

I wish over the years I had kept my private life private and my professional life a little more professional.

I'm really ultra-affected by things, I feel things deeper, and I cry at the drop of a hat, and offended and sensitive and I'm almost paranoid very easily, and that's who I am.

I've always been with God, even in my darkest hour. That is why I say I am alive. I mean, I should have died a number of times.

In terms of being vulgar, I don't think you need to be violent unless it's slapstick, violence to yourself. That can be funny - we've all tripped and fallen on our faces.

People love to hate. I have a love-hate relationship with the world. The world loves to hate me.

There are all kinds of addictions, and I've got every single one. If you set me in front of anything, I will do it until I ram it into the ground and it's done working for me.

Straight people say You know youre just gay and gay people say You know youre just gay. There is such a thing as bisexual

Working mothers do an hour more per day than working fathers do and working mothers do on average an hour more per day with the kids than working fathers do.

I didn't do the typical things that young kids do.

My kids enjoy the Disney program, Lizzy McGuire.

I want to spend more time with those kids. I want to dedicate my time to train those kids and teach them what it takes, what they need to do to get to this level.

I think having eight kids evens things out a bit. You learn about the world; you learn about the world; you learn you've got to get along. We're all - if anything - very adjustable.

We're parents first, and once you have kids, everybody knows that you have priority lists. Number one is your family and everything else just kind of finds its place.

I want to promote poetry to the point where you got all the baldhead kids running around doing poetry, getting the music out of the way and having only words, the spoken word, and then see what happens.

If kids like a picture book, they're going to read it at least 50 times. Read anything that often, and even minor imperfections start to feel like gravel in the bed.

Sounds so silly, but I want to accomplish getting my kids through college.

And there's a lot of that stuff with people bringing their kids, kids bringing their parents, people bringing their grandparents - I mean, it's gotten to be really stretched out now. It was never my intention to say, this is the demographics of our audience.

It's up to each person's parents whether they think it's too frightening or too violent, how much their kids can handle, what they want to teach them, what they want to show them.

For kids it's natural to be competitive.

I'd hope to reach any kid who feels apart from the group - those who seem to be outsiders, who feel different. Kids who want to reach their parents often don't know how to do so.

So, not only am I panicking over the weekend if I need to know my lines, but also if can I get the kids to the zoo. Can I even go to church? I was asking for certain things that would allow me to plan my life a little better.

The real question isn't whether you love your kids or not, but how well you are able to demonstrate your love and caring so that your children really feel loved.

Young kids are taking Viagra, ecstasy. They even want instant sex.

I think women are natural caretakers. They take care of everybody. They take care of their husbands and their kids and their dogs, and don't spend a lot of time just getting back and taking time out.

The Professional Children's School, it's for professional kids, so if you wanted to ditch, you could just write, Audition on a note and leave. I didn't really like school all that much.

I mean, obviously, a lot of people know me around the world. Kids know me.

My kids act all the time and it's exactly what I used to do.