Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery.

I never think that people die. They just go to department stores.

My idea of a good picture is one that's in focus and of a famous person.

Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible.

Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art.

Don't pay any attention to what they write about you. Just measure it in inches.

Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer.

During the 1960s, I think, people forgot what emotions were supposed to be. And I don't think they've ever remembered.

Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.

I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell?

Before I was shot, I always thought that I was more half-there than all-there - I always suspected that I was watching TV instead of living life. Right when I was being shot and ever since, I knew that I was watching television.

I suppose I have a really loose interpretation of "work," because I think that just being alive is so much work at something you don't always want to do. The machinery is always going. Even when you sleep.

I like boring things.

People need to be made more aware of the need to work at learning how to live because life is so quick and sometimes it goes away too quickly.

Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?

Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery.

The most exciting thing is not doing it. If you fall in love with someone and never do it, it's much more exciting.

I had a lot of dates but I decided to stay home and dye my eyebrows.

I'd asked around 10 or 15 people for suggestions. Finally one lady friend asked the right question, 'Well, what do you love most?' That's how I started painting money.

It would be very glamorous to be reincarnated as a great big ring on Liz Taylor's finger.

I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is "In 15 minutes everybody will be famous."

Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details.

An artist is somebody who produces things that people don't need to have.

The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet.

What's great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest.

I think having land and not ruining it is the most beautiful art that anybody could ever want to own.

Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets.

I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.'

I always wished I had died, and I still wish that, because I could have gotten the whole thing over with.

Once you 'got' Pop, you could never see a sign again the same way again. And once you thought Pop, you could never see America the same way again.

Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.

I'm the type who'd be happy not going anywhere as long as I was sure I knew exactly what was happening at the places I wasn't going to. I'm the type who'd like to sit home and watch every party that I'm invited to on a monitor in my bedroom.

I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks.

I am a deeply superficial person.

I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say "figment."

It's the movies that have really been running things in America ever since they were invented. They show you what to do, how to do it, when to do it, how to feel about it, and how to look how you feel about it.

If you want to know all about Andy Warhol, just look at the surface of my paintings and films and me, and there I am. There's nothing behind it.

I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs.

When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships.

In the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.

Land really is the best art.

Being good in business is the most fascinating kind of art. Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art.

I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic.

They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning.

Art is what you can get away with.

Art? That's a man's name.

Everyone needs a fantasy.

Human beings are born solitary, but everywhere they are in chains - daisy chains - of interactivity. Social actions are makeshift forms, often courageous, sometimes ridiculous, always strange. And in a way, every social action is a negotiation, a compromise between 'his,' 'her' or 'their' wish and yours.