Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

Maybe the answer to Selective Service is to start everyone off in the army and draft them for civilian life as needed.

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it's another nonconformist who doesn't conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.

People learn something every day, and a lot of times it's that what they learned the day before was wrong.

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having given up on the problem of an efficient way to get himself five miles to work and back each day.

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.

Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man's lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college.

The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

I'm an actor. And I guess I've done so many movies I've achieved some high visibility. But a star? I guess I still think of myself as kind of a worker ant.

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas.

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them.

To God, thy country, and thy friend be true.

It would be nice if the poor were to get even half of the money that is spent in studying them.

The groundhog is like most other prophets; it delivers its prediction and then disappears.

In the game of life, it's a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season.

Most airlines move too fast in a merger. Speed is not as critical as efficiency.

Blushes are the rainbow of modesty.

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other

The cold war was an aberration. Note how quickly the Europeans turned on America once 400 hostile divisions were no longer on their borders.

To err is human to really foul things up requires a computer.

Everything pales in comparison to deer.

The eagle may soar beavers build dams.

So there is a natural efficiency that you pick up as you can prioritize capital across a bigger set of opportunities.

Improving efficiency on the farm is not only a risk reduction strategy its a profitability strategy.

Humility is the embroidery of chiefs

A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm.

We have got to keep the momentum going in order to achieve all of our objectives.

Salvation includes an ongoing transformation in your life.

Occasionally we sigh for an earlier day when we could just look at the stars without worrying whether they were theirs or ours.

Worship your heroes from afar; contact withers them.

The student body was huge at UT and you had to mature pretty quick, very quick actually. I enjoyed it and it helped me a lot in my life in general - not only in the classroom but on the baseball field as well.

Poets are like baseball pitchers. Both have their moments. The intervals are the tough things.

Do what you love to do and give it your very best. Whether it's business or baseball, or the theater, or any field. If you don't love what you're doing and you can't give it your best, get out of it. Life is too short. You'll be an old man before you know it.

These old ballparks are like cathedrals in America. We don't have big old Gothic cathedrals like they do in Europe. But we got baseball parks.

Whenever I wasn't watching the planes, I was playing community baseball, football, or something like that.

Baseball hasn't been the national pastime for many years now - no sport is. The national pastime, like it or not, is watching television.

Baseball is a team game.

I never ride just to ride. I ride to catch a fox. I play baseball to make the team.