Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.

Sure, women sportswriters look when they're in the clubhouse. Read their stories. How else do you explain a capital letter in the middle of a word?

The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.

Baseball hasn't forgotten me. I go to a lot of old-timers games and I haven't lost a thing. I sit in the bullpen and let people throw things at me. Just like old times.

I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.

Let's face it. Umpiring is not an easy or happy way to make a living. In the abuse they suffer, and the pay they get for it, you see an imbalance that can only be explained by their need to stay close to a game they can't resist.

I set records that will never be equaled. In fact, I hope 90% of them don't even get printed.

Sporting goods companies pay me not to endorse their products.

In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs.

I didn't get a lot of awards as a player. But they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.

I had slumps that lasted into the winter.

If a guy hits .300 every year, what does he have to look forward to? I always tried to stay around .190, with three or four RBI. And I tried to get them all in September. That way I always had something to talk about during the winter.

When I looked at the third base coach, he turned his back on me.

When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team's dugout and they were already in street clothes.

Anybody with ability can play in the big leagues. But to be able to trick people year in and year out the way I did, I think that was a much greater feat.

After getting out of the service and going into baseball I never wanted to do anything else.

Any teammate of mine that had a kid and a boy that was capable of playing baseball, I think I set a terrific example of 'Don't do this' and 'Don't do that.' And that's one of the things that I'm most proud of.

Career highlights? I had two - I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.

How do you catch a knuckleball? You wait until it stops rolling, then go pick it up.

I had been playing for a while, and I asked Louisville Slugger to send me a dozen flame treated bats. But when I got it, I realized they had sent me a box of ashes.

I hit a grand slam off Ron Herbel and when his manager Herman Franks came out to get him, he was bringing Herbel's suitcase.

I hope the fans have enjoyed listening as much as I've enjoyed doing the games. I don't ever go to the park where I don't have a good day. I don't like losing. But I don't think I ever go to the park where I have a bad day. I don't think once.

I think my top salary was maybe in 1966. I made $17,000 and 11 of that came from selling other players' equipment.

I was acting when I was playing baseball.

Not bragging by any means, but I could have done a lot of other stuff as far as working in films go and working in television... I had chances to do that stuff, but I like baseball, I really do.

The biggest thrill a ballplayer can have is when your son takes after you. That happened when my Bobby was in his championship Little League game. He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud.

You know, I was once named Minor League Player of the Year... unfortunately, I had been in the majors for two years at the time.

I was always drawn to the blues. Alberta Hunter at the Cookery was a life-changing experience. I only wanted to get enriched as a performer as I got older, to have an audience which got older, too, and would come to see me when I'm 80.

A lot of times when you're young and carefree, you don't realize, when you tip over the edge, how difficult it is to climb back in.

I have been up against tough competition all my life. I wouldnt know how to get along without it.

It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want and then you realize that people youve known forever dont see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories but find yourself moving on.

I've always loved singing. I find it exhilarating.

I'm not aiming for the Nobel Peace Prize!

When I do short films, I try to do something completely out of my comfort zone, out of my element.

I have friends and family that are filled with massive amounts of integrity. And it shouldn't be an oddity.

If you tell someone you're doing something innovative, they'll think you're doing something innovative.

Yet, in the maddening maze of things, And tossed by storm and flood, To one fixed trust my spirit clings; I know that God is good!

I don't really listen to contemporary R&B with an ear for hearing my influence. Music is a spirit unto itself, and all of us musicians influence each other all along the chain.

It's difficult to write a book where a character is on virtually every page of the book but you cannot refer to his or her gender. It gets rid of every his, her, she and he.

Lots of things are hard work, but I think writing, for me, after I started acting at 13 years old. I like writing now much more than I do acting only because, well, partly because the scripts that are offered are junk.

I'm free to make music - I'm sitting on about 40 or 45 new songs that I can't wait to put out.

Sometimes in your career, you are at the right place at the right moment. But you have to be aware that eventually you may no longer be the right person for that position. So build your succession and foster for it while you are still at the peak of you career.

Getting into shape helped get me into a better mood, and when I'm in a better mood, I'm funnier. My general attitude is better.

There are far far better things ahead than any we leave behind.

'Coming Over' was probably the fastest collaboration I've ever done.

Chicago is not a very fashion-driven place. Nobody says, 'Oh, you've got to come see these fabulous people!' Nobody cares.

Health is the first muse and sleep is the condition to produce it.

I believed early and still believe that everybody who can act can do it already, just they don't know how and don't want to talk about it.

I would like to uncover the secrets of the universe.