I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.

I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis.

I love tennis with a passion. I challenged Boris Becker to a match once and he said he was up for it but he never called back. I bet I could make him run around.

The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP they have run out of better ideas.

My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters.

But if people want to swim in the Thames, if they want to take their lives into their own hands, then they should be able to do so with all the freedom and exhilaration of our woad-painted ancestors.

Huge numbers of people in London depend on their cars. Fuel duty is becoming a big factor in people's cost of living. I believe in trying to ease these burdens.

I always believe writing is an indispensable part of one's political armoury.

I am hoping very much to get re-elected but it is going to be a tough fight.

I am supporting David Cameron purely out of cynical self-interest.

I believe in immigration. But I feel people think it would be better if there was an Australian-style points based system so we could actually get a good system.

I believe we now have a glorious opportunity: we can pass our laws and set our taxes entirely according to the needs of the U.K. economy.

I do think human beings cannot be faulted for wishing to judge themselves and their lives and their achievements by others around them; that is a natural human feeling.

I have more in common with a three-toed sloth or a one-eyed pterodactyl or a Kalamata olive than I have with Winston Churchill.

I have not been more robust towards female rather than male assembly members and I do not believe I have been remotely sexist.

I just find it absolutely bizarre that we are being lectured by the Americans about giving up our sovereignty and giving up control when the Americans won't even sign up to the international convention on the law of the seas, let alone the International Criminal Court.

I lead a life of blameless domesticity and always have done.

I love swimming in rivers, and well remember once jumping in at Chiswick.

I promised to run the most open and transparent administration in Britain. That is why, with this brutally honest and unprecedented progress report, I am determined to level with Londoners.

I suppose with houses and assets, then I guess I would be a millionaire. But so are a lot of people.

I think I'm basically a liberal Conservative - I believe in low tax, spirit of free enterprise, and in making sure that we as politicians create the framework for business to produce the dosh that we're going to need to pay for the poorest. And the longer I live, the more I think that we all have a duty to each other.

I think people have a legitimate right to minimise their tax obligations if they can, but they should pay their fair whack. I do think it's important to be transparent.

I think the risks that people see of terrorism are incredibly important but we are very confident we have got the right people on it and the risks have been minimised.

I used to get very, very frustrated by people being told what to do by nanny in Brussels. And I remember once I rang the official who was actually responsible for banning the prawn-cocktail-flavoured crisp, which I think contained a dye called Arithrazine or something like that.

I want London to be a competitive, dynamic place to come to work.

I want London to be the most cycle-friendly city on Earth, and I want more people to be happy and safe on bicycles.

I want to win and I want to be in office.

I'd like thousands of schools as good as the one I went to, Eton.

I'm a one-nation Tory.

I'm in politics to change things - if possible, for the better. I was a journalist for a long time, but I had a kind of midlife crisis, and I decided I needed to do something to get on the pitch and stop endlessly kicking over other peoples' sandcastles.

I'm made up of immigrant stock. I went to a primary school in London. I grew up eating Spangles, why shouldn't I be as well placed to speak for Londoners as anyone else?

I'm not one of those people who believes in going endlessly around finger wagging and ticking people off for occasional colourful use of language.

I'm not particularly politically correct, so I tend to reflect what I think are the terrible realities of life, which I think are, generally speaking, conservative.

I've always sort of thought that politics was a high and noble calling and a good thing to do.

I've done eight years as mayor of London. I enjoyed it hugely; it was a massive privilege.

I've got more in common with a three-toed sloth than I have with Winston Churchill. There is no easy comparison with any modern politician. The more you read about him, the more completely amazed you are about what he did - his energy, his literary fecundity, his ability to work - just unbelievable energy.

If I'd been on the Remain side I would have tried to have seen the best in Europe and tried to explain that. Instead, what they've done is endlessly try and talk up what they see as the weaknesses of Britain and they aren't there. That's a total mistake.

If we get outside the EU, if we leave the EU system, we will be relieved of a huge amount of unnecessary regulation that is holding this country back. We will be able to set our own priorities, make our own laws and set our own tax policies to suit the needs of this country. We have a huge opportunity also to make people's votes count for more.

If we judged everybody by the stupid, unguarded things they blurt out to their nearest and dearest, then we wouldn't ever get anywhere.

If we vote to Leave and take back control, all sorts of opportunities open up. Including doing new free trade deals around the world, restoring Britain's seat on all sorts of international bodies, restoring health to our democracy and belief to our democracy.

If you turn a blind eye to fare evasion, if you accustom people to getting away with minor crime, you are making it more likely that they will go on to commit more serious crimes. That is why we have so much disorder in London. It is a disgrace.

It is easy to make promises - it is hard work to keep them.

It is possible to have a pretty good life and career being a leech and a parasite in the media world, gadding about from TV studio to TV studio, writing inconsequential pieces and having a good time.

It is possible to have a pretty good life and career being a leech and a parasite in the media world, gadding about from TV studio to TV studio, writing inconsequential pieces and having a good time. But in the end you have a great sense of personal dissatisfaction.

It just happens I write fast and always have done.

It would be a sad day if we British stopped being cynical, but you sometimes wonder whether we overdo it.

It's not reasonable for companies that have chief executives and board members who are paid very considerable sums to subsidise low pay through in-work benefits.

London is a fantastic creator of jobs - but many of these jobs are going to people who don't originate in this country.