Carl Reiner

I'm a charming coward; I fight with words.

Comedians are really writers who dont have pens and pencils about them but they riff.

The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.

It's like a bird. If he knew what he was doing, he would fall.

I think that comedy really tells you how it is. The other thing about comedy is that - you don't even know if you're failing in drama, but you do know when you're failing in comedy. When you go to a comedy and you don't hear anybody laughing, you know that you've failed.

Everybody wants to laugh - you know that. They need to laugh... people need to laugh.

A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it.

My father was a watchmaker and an inventor. I saw him working in the house every day. The work ethic, I got from him. He worked hard and he never complained about it.

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.

Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.

If you can get a laugh out of a name, you're ahead of the game.

When you denigrate people they have two ways to fight back with their fists and guns or their mouths. And mouths are seemingly the easiest way to not get hit back. If people are laughing theyre not going to hit you.