Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

Aunt Marion was right... Never marry a musician, and never answer the door.

Try not to have a good time... this is supposed to be educational.

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.

Life is like a ten speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.

It doesn't matter what you believe just so long as you're sincere.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

No problem is so formidable that you can't walk away from it.

Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.

Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. If makes it feel needed.

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe just so you're sincere.

That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another.

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.

No problem is too big to run away from.

There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.

There is no problem so big it cannot be run away from.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.

You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.

A whole stack of memories never equal one little hope.

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?

Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.

All you require is adore. But just a little chocolate at times will not damage.

I guess babysitters are like used cars... You never really know what youre getting

Brothers and sisters should never be in the same family.

No problem is so formidable that you cant walk away from it.

The crabby little girls of today are the crabby old women of tomorrow

I wonder if theres such a thing as a spiritual dentist I think my whole personality is full of cavities

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.

Jogging is very beneficial. Its good for your legs and your feet. Its also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed.

Why cant we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together I guess that wouldnt work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good bye. I hate good byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once but I was wrong.

Stop worrying about the world ending today. Its already tomorrow in Australia.

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt.

Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

It doesnt matter what you believe just so long as youre sincere.

This is my report on how to live... They say the best way is just to live one day at a time... If you try to live seven days at a time, the week will be over before you know it.

Happiness is a warm puppy.

Security is a thumb and a blanket. Happiness is a warm puppy.

If you grit your teeth and show real determination, you'll always have a chance.

I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said.

The choicest pleasures of life lie within the ring of moderation.