Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.

You are not a beautiful, unique snowflake... This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time.

A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection.

When did the future switch from being a promise to a threat?

I just don't want to die without a few scars.

Maybe humans are just the pet alligators that God flushed down the toilet.

People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messed cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.

The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage.

People used what they called a telephone because they hated being close together and they were scared of being alone.

If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character, would you slow down? Or speed up?

Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head.

Since change is constant, you wonder if people crave death because it's the only way they can get anything really finished.

The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close-up.

People have to really suffer before they can risk doing what they love.

Why is it you feel like a dope if you laugh alone, but that's usually how you end up crying?

The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open.

Where would Jesus be if no one had written the gospels?

I used to work in a funeral home to feel good about myself, just the fact that I was breathing.

The answer is there is no answer.

If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person?

Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.

Every woman is just a different kind of problem.

You must realize that one day you will die. Until then you are worthless.

Sometimes the past seems too big for the present to hold.

Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves.

No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close.

Give me rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism.

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.

I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the truth from you. When your whole life breaks down. That's the moment when you have to somehow choose what your life is going to be about.

Masochism is a valuable job skill.

I don't care what they do with my book so long as the flippin check clears.

It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget.

That saying, about how you always kill the thing you love, well, it works both ways.

We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens.

The lower you fall, the higher you'll fly.

If I can't be beautiful, I want to be invisible.

Reality means you live until you die. The real truth is nobody wants reality.

Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justified?

More and more, it feels like I'm doing a really bad impersonation of myself.

You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be.

We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.

Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education.

Your birth is a mistake you'll spend your whole life trying to correct.

Our Generation has had no Great war, no Great Depression. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives.

Only through destroying myself can I discover the greater power of my spirit.

What we don't understand we can make mean anything.

If you don't know what you want, you end up with a lot you don't.

Find out what you're afraid of and go live there.

Sometimes you do something, and you get screwed. Sometimes it's the things you don't do, and you get screwed.