Clive James

Fiction is life with the dull bits left out.

Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.

The inevitable effect of a biographers hindsight is to belittle the subjects foresight.

Even in moments of tranquility, Murray Walker sounds like a man whose trousers are on fire.

It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how powerful they are.

A life without fame can be a good life, but fame without a life is no life at all.

Anyone afraid of what he thinks television does to the world is probably just afraid of the world.

She was good at playing abstract confusion in the same way that a midget is good at being short.

Whoever called snooker 'chess with balls' was rude, but right.

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology.

A life without fame can be a good life but fame without a life is no life at all.