If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

To many, Homer may appear lazy and a loser, but he's just much misguided. He's boorish, sure, but well meaning and, I guess, the one thing we have in common is the pursuit of lousy diets.

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what it is as long as I'm acting.

I often say, if I wasn't part of the show I'd be a huge fan of it.

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think that Homer is all that I do.

One of my favorite episodes was the one in which Homer grew hair. That was a very unique episode, since there was a gay secretary, but that wasn't even the issue of the show-the issue was Homer's image changing because he had hair.

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge star and to be recognized... It did happen, but not in the way you expect it to... In L.A., I'm just another character actor.

There are times when the writers ask us to improvise. Sometimes the animators are inspired by what you do, and sometimes you are inspired by what the animators do.

It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting around for the right script to come along, I decided to write one myself.

The Simpsons can go anywhere in the world and not worry about any budgetary issues. However, even when the show has had its run, I think the characters can go on in perpetuity.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in college. That's one of the reasons I went down to Second City, because you could do acting and writing.

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

It is better to watch things then to do them.

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across to the animator because the animator is inspired by the voicetrack in terms of how to animate the character.

The nice thing is that, at least in Los Angeles, I'm known as a character actor and I do auditions for other things besides just cartoon shows.

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time, being a cartoon gives the writers more freedom than in a normal sitcom. It always pushes the line that, despite human failings, the Simpsons are really decent people.

I think the tone of the show has certainly changed over the years, because it's really, really hard to do something different when you have a show going on as long as this has.

The voice doesn't take a lot of effort now, but in the beginning it was hard to try to find a voice. The one I settled on was just easier to do for a half-hour.

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion. When you're married you have to cut through that.

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

The Simpsons take up so little time that I'm able to do other things as well.

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And Im tired of making other people feel good about themselves.

You cant keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once and move on.

I wanted to understand pain and the human condition, which is full of pain and regret and sadness - and some happiness, if you're lucky.

I have something called endometriosis, and I was told by my gynecologist that I needed to go on a specific diet if I didn't want to have any more surgery.

Cherish those who proven their love. Its a lot easier for someone to be nice to you on a beautiful day when the sun is shining but in a heavy storm is where you learn who truly cares.

I am doing work I enjoy and is fulfilling.

It's good to be alive.

If you are going to do something wrong at least enjoy it.

You're either part of the solution or part of the problem.

Even in the realest American cinema that I see, there's still not that sense that this is reality. There's still that sense that you are watching a movie. And hopefully, if we did get our jobs right, that sense disappears when you watch this movie.

People should be allowed to document evidence of criminal wrongdoing. Where is the expectation of privacy if someone is conspiring to commit crime?

Do not get caught pursuing the goals of who you used to be instead of who you are.

Women put guys through tests all the time.

I guess I am attracted to older women. I'm looking for a 40-something who has had her heart broken two or three hundred times. She's going to be fun!

Stay hungry stay young stay foolish stay curious and above all stay humble because just when you think you got all the answers is the moment when some bitter twist of fate in the universe will remind you that you very much dont.

The pain of love is the pain of being alive. It is a perpetual wound.

The day you see a camera come into our courtroom, it's going to roll over my dead body.

I love Nelly. He's such a great performer. He's so hyper and so am I.

I come to realize that mind is no other than mountains and rivers and the great wide earth the sun and the moon and stars.

Pondering must turn out to be your cash asset regardless of whichever ups and downs you occur throughout in the everyday living.

Allow me to say that I would long since have committed suicide had desisting made me a professor of Latin.

I'm on Facebook and Twitter, and occasionally I will tweet something. Somehow my problem is that I don't think I have anything interesting to tweet about.