Would we prefer to be lifting it? Of course we would. You can't look back, we have to look forward and say what are we going to do get it back next year.
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I don't know if this is the kind of retrospective analysis that people are fond of applying to their work or actions, but it feels like I knew I was going to be famous and I knew that an element of that would be traumatic, so that if I could make myself something big and otherworldly, it would be a kind of defence.