Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.

I don't have any children, I have four middle-aged people.

A lot of violence, a lot of gore in it, and I just didn't want to do that kind of thing.

I loved to fall down.

Today, if you're not an alcoholic, you're nobody.

I think the saddest moment in my life just happened two months ago. My old nightclub partner passed away, Phil Erickson down in Atlanta. He - I owe him everything. He put me in the business and taught me about everything I know.

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.

I wanted to be a radio announcer.

Oh, I had an idea for a pilot of my own at the time, and then Carl sent me about eight scripts and simply I threw my idea out the window because the writing was just so good.

I've retired so many times now it's getting to be a habit.

I cannot tell you what it means when children recognize. This is about the third generation for me. And when kids that small recognize me, it really pleases me, very gratifying.

Stan said he used to keep Hardy late, make him miss his golf game, and really get him mad.

No, I did night clubs right here in Los Angeles. My partner, Phil Erickson, put me in the business, a guy from my home town, a dear friend who we just lost a couple of months ago.

I have four children and I have seven grandkids.

I was always in show business but in many ways was not really of show business. I didn't move in show business circles, particularly, still don't do it.

So I think we're kind of an alternate choice for people who have had it with sex and violence.

Probably one of the happiest moments, outside the birth of all of my kids, was the first time we won an Emmy, that the show won an Emmy. That was a big night.

I grew up in Danville, Illinois, right in the middle of the state.

My son Barry, of course, has been on from the beginning. And his son Shane is playing now a med student regularly on the show. And at one point or another, I've had all four of his kids on the show.

But once we got on the air, everybody except Morey Amsterdam pretty much stuck to the script.

So as my kids will tell you, they had a pretty normal life.

Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him.

No, no, it was the relationships. That was that group. People believed that Rob and Laura were really married in real life. You know, a lot of people believed that.

But I wish they would make a musical of some kind. I miss musicals so much. You don't see them anymore.

Oh, well, my first love is comedy or singing and dancing.

I never made a good movie.

So at 16 I got a job at the local radio station. And I was working after school and weekends. I did the news; I did everything. I did - played records.

I don't think we've got much of a chance to tell you the truth. But our main problem is our audience skews a little older than most shows, and I don't think our people can stay up that late. I certainly can't.

I turned down some movies that were quite good. mainly on the basis of taste.

I think most people will tell you that. They can go along and, while they're denying that they are addicted, say it's stress this, it's this, it's that. But I - it's - I think - I really believe there is a gene. Some people become addicted and others don't.

We had all week to rehearse. An audience would come in at the end of the week and we'd our little show. Most of the ad- libbing happened during the week on the show.

You know, I'm almost out of the habit of watching episodic television now.

I learned everything that I know about comedy and about show business and a lot about life from Carl.

I think it's being thrown at the wolves, we call it in our business.

My kids are so much better parent than I was.

'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' was a movie that I repeatedly turned down. The movie's producer, Albert 'Cubby' Broccoli, known for his tight-fisted control of the James Bond movie franchise, desperately wanted to re-team Julie Andrews and me after the success we'd enjoyed with 'Mary Poppins.'

'Mary Poppins' was one of the best experiences of my life.

'The Dick Van Dyke Show' was the most fun I ever had and the most creative period of my life.

A lot of actors seem to dislike typecasting these days. The funny thing is, that's a fairly recent development. It used to be that actors wanted to be typecast so audiences could remember them and identify with them.

All of us involved say 'The Dick Van Dyke Show' was the best five years of our lives. We were like otters at play.

All that nipping and tucking doesn't make you look younger - only stranger.

As wonderful as they were, my parents didn't teach me anything about self-discipline, concentration, patience, or focus. If I hadn't had a family myself, I probably never would've done anything. Marriage taught me responsibility.

Divorce is something that I never dreamed would happen to me. But it did.

Do you know that I was the anchor on the 'CBS Morning Show?' And my newsman was Walter Cronkite.

Don't worry so much. Most of the things you worry about never end up happening.

Emotionally, I'm about 13.

Everyone should dance. And everyone should sing. People say, 'Well, I can't sing.' Everybody can sing. That you do it badly is no reason not to sing.

For some reason, as time gets short in life, wasting time escaping through entertainment bothers me.

Here's the truth. Your teens and twenties are your Plan A. At 50, you're assessing whether Plan B or Plan C or any of the other plans you hatched actually worked. Your sixties and seventies, they're an improvisation.