April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations - taxes are for douche bags.

First there was the New Hampshire primary, and we had nearly a year leading up to it. And now, look! Three primaries in one weekend! How many of these things are they going to have?

April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations - taxes are for douche bags.

I feel like I'm worried about my later years in life because I feel like I'm using up so much good karma right now. There's going to be some sort of karmic backlash somewhere down the road.

I had envisioned doing comedy since childhood. For sure.

I happen to think singing is hilarious, especially when it pops out at the wrong time.

I like being from a city that is not entrenched in show business. When you're in New York City or Los Angeles, even if you're not dealing with show business, there's still this sense that it's the center of the universe.

I try to explain to people that you get the roles that are right when they're right. If you have a nerd character but you're kind of a cool guy, you're probably not going to get the nerd part. The nerd is going to get the nerd part. You know, someone like me.

I'm a very jaded and cynical person.

I'm kind of embarrassed by how quickly I adjusted to L.A. I really love it. It's so pleasant.

It's incredibly fun to play someone that you don't like. It exorcises your own demons in a way. It's cathartic. We all have things that we don't like about ourselves, little things. And I get to amplify those things and put them out there. It's fun and it has a cleansing effect.

My friend and I sang an a cappella rendition of Extreme's 'More Than Words' at one of our football pep rallies in a desperate attempt to look cool. For a while, I wore pink Converse All Stars because I thought it made me seem daring and irreverent.

This may come as a surprise, given the nature of my job, but I am very guarded and contemplative. I'm not a naturally boisterous person.

Vulnerability is huge. I love to see that in characters. It's something I feel like a lot of my comedic heroes have always done.

When you're in New York City or Los Angeles, even if you're not dealing with show business, there's still this sense that it's the center of the universe. And I think that's a really dangerous, limiting mindset.

When you're playing a fictional character reacting to the real world, it's incredibly difficult and confusing and kind of messes with your values a bit.

You take a vacation to a place like Thailand and you're ready for the excitement of something new and foreign. But when you're working 14-hour days, all you want is something familiar to ground you. And there's just nothing there.

So long as your desire to explore is greater than your desire to not screw up youre on the right track.

Women don't like advice. They don't want you to fix their problems, they just want you to listen.

I don't think a reporter should give advice or make predictions.

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.

Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.

No enemy is worse than bad advice.

I'm not in the business of becoming famous. And that's the advice I give to younger aspiring actors. Work onstage and do the little roles. In the end it's not important to be seen. It's important to do. There's a lot of disappointment in this business, but my family keeps me grounded.

Listen kid, take my advice, never hate a song that has sold half a million copies.

My advice to young film-makers is this: don't follow trends, start them!

There is nothing which we receive with so much reluctance as advice.

All of our affairs, since the union of crowns, have been managed by the advice of English ministers, and the principal offices of the kingdom filled with such men, as the court of England knew would be subservient to their designs.

To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn't know what to do or that he can't do it on his own.

But I try not to become preoccupied with that because with whatever direction I follow, with whatever advice I've followed or not followed, It's landed me in New York, in a very beautiful hotel, talking to people about something that I love. So I ain't that far off.

If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle.

Never Have Your Dog Stuffed is really advice to myself, a reminder to myself not to avoid change or uncertainty, but to go with it, to surf into change.

I never take advice from anyone more messed up than I am.

What advice do I tell my grandson? I listen to him.

It is not unprofessional to give free legal advice, but advertising that the first visit will be free is a bit like a fox telling chickens he will not bite them until they cross the threshold of the hen house.

This character in the film, these things that he says which sound like advice and wise things, they are very common for Orientals. It's all the tradition.

Never give advice in a crowd.

Please give me some good advice in your next letter. I promise not to follow it.

When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.

I counseled many returning missionaries. I interviewed 1,700 missionaries all over the world. My advice to them is that you should study and prepare for your life's work in a field that you enjoy.

His advice to me is basically to just love what you do and don't let the fear of failure stop you.

Advice is seldom welcome, and those who need it the most, like it the least.

So my own suspicion is that the attorney has stopped this prosecution because part of her defence was to question legality and that would have brought his advice into the public domain again and there was something fishy about the way in which he said war was legal.

It is an easy thing for one whose foot is on the outside of calamity to give advice and to rebuke the sufferer.

Carrot Top... I gave him advice once and he ran with it. He should thank me.

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice.

Listen to advice. You don't know how many writer's conferences I've taught at where at least half the audience fights all the conventions of the field.

Be yourself is about the worst advice you can give to some people.

When I read commentary about suggestions for where C should go, I often think back and give thanks that it wasn't developed under the advice of a worldwide crowd.