The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

The greatest humiliation in life, is to work hard on something from which you expect great appreciation, and then fail to get it.

It may be a cold, clammy thing to say, but those that treat friendship the same as any other selfishness seem to get the most out of it.

Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.

A man will do more for his stubbornness than for his religion or his country.

Every successful person I have heard of has done the best he could with the conditions as he found them, and not waited until next year for better.

The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world.

One of the surprising things in this world is the respect a worthless man has for himself.

When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine that he is polite all the time.

The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.

The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in.

Farmers only worry during the growing season, but townspeople worry all the time.

Don't abuse your friends and expect them to consider it criticism.

Fishing seems to be the favorite form of loafing.

The most destructive criticism is indifference.

Half the time men think they are talking business, they are wasting time.

A young man is a theory, an old man is a fact.

To be an ideal guest, stay at home.

Everyone suffers wrongs for which there is no remedy.

The modest person is usually admired, if people ever hear of them.

The underdog often starts the fight, and occasionally the upper dog deserves to win.

Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.

Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.

The average man's judgment is so poor, he runs a risk every time he uses it.

For every quarrel a man and wife have before others, they have a hundred when alone.

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

If a woman doesn't chase a man a little, she doesn't love him.

Virtue must be valuable, if men and women of all degrees pretend to have it.

Many people would be more truthful were it not for their uncontrollable desire to talk.

A woman who can't forgive should never have more than a nodding acquaintance with a man.

If your faith is opposed to experience, to human learning and investigation, it is not worth the breath used in giving it expression.

When men are not regretting that life is so short, they are doing something to kill time.

When a man has no reason to trust himself, he trusts in luck.

A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.

All of the troubles that some people have in life is that which they married into.

A modest man is usually admired, if people ever hear of him.

Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.

None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The record does not show that Adam and Eve were ever married.

A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.

There is only one thing people like that is good for them; a good night's sleep.

The worst feeling in the world is the homesickness that comes over a man occasionally when he is at home.

The little trouble in the world that is not due to love is due to friendship.

Common sense is compelled to make its way without the enthusiasm of anyone.

The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed and cant get there is the meanest feeling in the world.

People never have confidence in a Big Talker. They know his statements must be cut down but they can never tell how much.

Half the promises people say were never kept were never made.

I believe in grumbling it is the politest form of fighting known.

Nearly every man is a coward if confronted by the proper terror.

No mans credit is ever as good as his money.