George Gobel

If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it werent for electricity wed all be watching television by candlelight.

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?

Did you ever feel as if the whole world was a tuxedo, and you were a pair of brown shoes?

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago.

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

Did you ever get the feeling that the world is a tuxedo and you're a pair of brown shoes?

When I go to a party, nobody says hello. But when I leave, everybody says goodbye.

If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice.