The most used phrase in my administration if I were to be President would be "What the hell you mean we're out of missiles?"

No one is guaranteed happiness. You can pursue it, but if you happen to find success along the way on that road to happiness, Conservatives believe you should not be demonized or penalized for it.

You know, we all have our inner demons. I, for one - I can't speak for you, but I'm on the verge of moral collapse at any time. It can happen by the end of the show.

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one.

Let me tell you, it is still morning in America. It just happens to be kind of a head pounding, hung over for four hours in America - and it's shaping up to be a nasty day, but its still morning in America.

'Hello my name is the Republican Party and I got a problem. I'm addicted to spending and big government.' I'd like one of them just to stand up and say that.

What we don't have a right to is healthcare, housing, or handouts. We don't have those rights.

Please stop teaching my children that everyone gets a trophy just for participating. What is this, the Nobel Prize? Not everybody gets a trophy.

I have no desire to be president of the United States. Zero desire. I don't think that I would be electable. And there are far too many people that are far smarter than me to be president. I'd like to find one with some honor and integrity. I haven't seen them yet, but they'll show up.

I think every American has a role in saving this country. Whether you're Democrat, Republican, independent, it doesn't matter. We all know the country's in trouble. We may disagree on how to solve it, but we all know the country's in trouble.

I believe that if we get out of people's way, the sky's the limit. The sky is the limit.

Every time the government grows we lose more of who we are.

I beg you, look for the words 'social justice' or 'economic justice' on your church Web site. If you find it, run as fast as you can. Social justice and economic justice, they are code words.

If you have a priest that is pushing social justice, go find another parish. Go alert your bishop.

What is the point of competing for a trophy if everyone gets a trophy?

When did it something of shame or ridicule to be a self-made man in America?

Timothy McVeigh was a coward. Violence is the stupid way out. It'll discredit any real legitmate movement.

Good for you, you have a heart, you can be a liberal. Now, couple your heart with your brain, and you can be a conservative.

The majority does not rule in America, but the minority shouldn't hijack it. And it's because we're afraid. They have isolated us and made us feel as though we're alone. We're not.

Let me go over this again on the reclaiming the civil rights movement. People of faith that believe that you have an equal right to justice - that is the essence. And if it's not the essence, then we've been sold a pack of lies. The essence is everyone deserves a shot - the content of character, not the color of skin.

Americans also don't need to be taught how to give. We don't need to be taught how to take care of each other or how to be charitable.

The most used phrase in my administration if I were to be President would be "What the hell you mean we're out of missiles?"

We're giving our freedoms away. The American experiment was about freedom. Freedom to be stupid, freedom to fail, freedom to succeed.

It's not just spending, it's not just taxes, it's not just corruption, it is progressivism, and it is in both parties. It is in the Republicans and the Democrats.

I am like Howard Beale. When he came out of the rain and he was like, none of this makes any sense. I am that guy.

I am a conservative, but I am not a zombie.

What does it mean to be a conservative? I don't even know anymore. I know what it means to me. It means to me, personal responsibility. That if I've done something wrong, its up to me to pay the price. It's up to me to make it right.

Without failure there is no sweetness in success. There's no understanding of it.

I have not heard people in the Republican Party yet admit that they have a problem. And when they do say that they have a problem I don't know that I believe 'em.

When did it become a problem to be a small businessman and become successful? The small businessman - like my father, or like me?

We just put General Motors in the hands of people who can't even run our own government.

The worst is still ahead of us. But no one in Washington has the spine to tell you that.

The message that I gave on the - on the steps today was that you need to stand for those things that are right and empower the individual. Believe in the power of one person. Don't believe that you can't do it. Everybody wants - everybody wants a shot. That we can all agree on. Beyond that, it becomes politics. I'm not talking politics.

And I've come to the place where I believe that there's no way to solve these problems, these issues - there's nothing that we can do that will solve the problems that we have and keep the peace, unless we solve it through God, unless we solve it in being our highest self. And that's a pretty tall order.

We should reject big government and look inside ourselves for all the things that built this country into what it was.

Political Correctness doesn't change us, it shuts us up.

Progressivism is the cancer in America and it is eating our Constitution, and it was designed to eat the Constitution, to progress past the Constitution.

You can get rich making fun of me. I know. I've made lots of money making fun of me.

It does not have to be that the greatest generation is behind us. It does not have to be that our children will have a lower standard of living. It will be that way if we choose to believe that. I choose not to believe that.

To restore America we need less Marx and more Madison.

It's a real blessing for me to tell you, sir, that calvary has arrived - Fox is here!

We all know what the problems are: it's tax and spend. One party will tax and spend, the other party won't tax but will spend. It's both of them together.

Not a single time have we gotten a right from Congress or from the President. We get them from God.

By the time I was 30, nobody would work with me. I was friendless, I was hopeless, I was suicidal, lost my family - I mean, it was bad. Bottomed out, didn't know what I was going to do. I actually thought I was going to be a chef - go to work in a kitchen someplace.

I was in Washington, D.C., on the morning show, by the time I was 18, programming a station by 19, No. 1 in the mornings. I think I was making, I don't know, a quarter of a million dollars by the time I was 25.

I'm a dad, and I no longer see a way for my kids to even inherit the money that I'm making, let alone go out there, have an idea, and create it in their own lifetime.

I'm not interested in breaking news. I'm interested in telling the story of what's going on and then trying to figure it out.

People should be free, people should be unencumbered by regulation as much as possible, that big government always goes corrupt and the truth shall always set you free.

Quite honestly, I was running from myself. But I knew how to work Top 40 radio.