I've seen the Pokemon movie, which is probably the worst movie ever made on any subject ever.

I've seen the Pokemon movie, which is probably the worst movie ever made on any subject ever.

This job certainly doesn't win you a huge amount of friends, I accept that, but it is very enjoyable, and deep down I think it's probably quite a worthwhile job.

No, there are no hard and fast rules about sources, no printed booklet to help journalists through.

All the libel lawyers will tell you there's no libel any more, that everyone's given up.

They may well say not only is this not true, but I will put in an injunction to prevent publication. No, stories don't go in unless I'm convinced by the people who write them that they're true. And if I'm wrong, then so be it.

There's an awful lot of terrible television which I could do, but I mostly stick to Have I Got News for You.

Internet journalism is not a world we know very well at all. It's conducted more on the screen and less in bars, which makes it rather less useful for getting stories about people throwing up over one another, which is what one's after.

For a long time I thought I should be a civil engineer. That seemed to be the only thing worth doing, and I chose the wrong subjects at A-level. I read all the sciences to start with, and then had to admit, 'This isn't what I want to do' and changed course.

I get paid to do what I enjoy, not that common a condition.

I like making films about old people because they are repositories of amazing stories that they tell well. And they're incredibly good telly.

I'd always assumed that I would die at about the same age as my dad - he was 45. I am five years in credit now. I can't get my head around the fact that I am older than he was - ever.

I'm often accused of being prudish, but the opposite is true.

I've got a very peculiar sort of fame, based on being on the telly. It doesn't mean you have the lifestyle people expect.

It is no longer acceptable in British politics to be fat or eccentric or religious.

My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn't gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty.

The best comedy is where you attack the strong, not the weak.

You can't understand Twenties England until you appreciate it was under a cloud of mourning. Nearly everyone was grieving.

You have a huge amount of confidence when you're younger, which slowly ebbs away for the rest of your life. You think: 'No problem. I can do that. Why shouldn't I do it?'

Publishers, naturally, loathe used books and have developed strategies to depress the secondhand market. They bring out new, even more expensive editions of popular textbooks every three to four years, in a classic cycle of planned obsolescence.

Some people are doomed from birth because their environment is so toxic.

Don't show up late. Don't try to slide out early. Don't cheat your rep counts. And, definitely, don't hold back. Leave it all in the gym.

I'd always somehow felt slightly as if I'd been born in the wrong country.

Accusations are made directly to Rome about theologians from persons who are not theologians. Some of these accusations are anonymous. The local bishop should be the one to relate to theologians to determine orthodoxy.

I enjoy classics, but classics are classics for a reason. I prefer to focus on the future. There are a lot of new stories to be heard.

Everywhere I go, I still have time to meditate. People think meditating is sitting there, nobody bothering you, but you can even talk and still meditate.

Academic Marxists, with their elitist sense of superiority to popular taste, are the biggest snobs in America.

I'm not a single-issue person, but I spend so much time on Israel because it is so unfairly condemned around the world.

For the Gulf States, perhaps no forage crop of which the available seed supply is relatively abundant exceeds the velvet bean in potential value. This legume possesses also the ability to make a crop when planted relatively late.

So much of memory comes from the beginning of our lives when we know the world for the first time with a kind of clarity. It is that discovery of the past in the present on which a writer depends again and again as if our lost childhoods, like the surprising cyclamen plant, are forever opening new blossoms.

Anytime you open your mouth there's going to be someone who's put off. I try to deal with that by keeping the topical portions of my show brief. I realize that some people wish my comments were briefer.

In using chance operations, the mind is enriched.

May the spirit of devotion to duty which inspires us always dominate this Committee's conferences!

Time is money in the shipping business.

It was repugnant, but it was the only way to communicate.

The worst thing about talk ... is that theres no way to lay it to rest. Every fresh breeze brings a new speculation.

This is the basis, and I am not being tried for whether I am a Communist, I am being tried for fighting for the rights of my people, who are still second-class citizens in this United States of America.

I was completely nuts for most of my life.

In junior high, I really wanted to be popular. Suddenly there were parties with boys, and I wanted to be part of that. There was a group of girls, and I wanted to be friends with them.

I've always said, since I got to know him and wrote about him, that he's the generation he least appeals to is his own and I think in many ways he was born middle-aged and that's become apparent in recent years.

I think cars encapsulate the history of innovation and style - it's the other side of the coin of the car being public enemy No.1.

The detached observers view is one window on the world.

We are more prone to murmur at the punishment of our faults than to lament them.