Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.

Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.

I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.

After leaving school, I got a job in a department store not dissimilar to Grace Bros in 'Are You Being Served?'

Celador always ask me to do their shows, and I turned down 'Millionaire.' I couldn't have done it as well as Chris Tarrant, or at least I couldn't have done it any better.

Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.

Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.

I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy.

I have been known to play a few rounds in my time. I'm not obsessive; I don't play in the dark, but even that's not out of the question because Stevie Wonder is also a golfer.

I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.

I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.

I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure.

I should be more vocal about the things I believe are doing us harm, but many years ago in my early twenties, I learned a bit of a lesson. I started to realise at that time the benefits of eating healthy food and drink.

I started to develop my comedy skills when I became resident singer at the Boggery Folk Club in Solihull. My career blossomed from there, and I became a big draw on the folk-club circuit.

I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is in abundance in the game, which is more than can be said of tennis.

I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line.

I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.

I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.

I've played with some very famous bandits in my time on the celebrity golf circuit.

My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That's provided he hadn't died of a heart attack by then.

My real name is Bob Davis, but for some reason, I got the name Jasper while playing football at the local rec when I was nine years old, and it just stuck. Years later, when someone asked 'Jasper who?' I just said 'Carrott' - but I have no idea why I came out with that particular word.

The impact of T.V. on our lives in general gets most things out of proportion.

The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests.

There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson.

There's a rumour going 'round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will make you take your test again! Now, if ever there was an incentive to drive carefully, they could not have threatened a more terrifying ordeal.

Touring has been a major part of my career. I've done a lot of huge shows, including a 13-night sell-out stint at the Indoor Arena in Birmingham, playing to a total audience of 65,000.

When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don't think I can be above it all.

From day one, I got addicted to being on stage and getting the applause and laughter.

He who has laughter on his side has no need of proof.

Make them laugh, make them cry, and hack to laughter. What do people go to the theatre for? An emotional exercise. I am a servant of the people. I have never forgotten that.

Let there be more joy and laughter in your living.

Laughter kills fear, and without fear there can be no faith. For without fear of the devil there is no need for God.

I just love listening to the laughter.

Laughter can bring a new perspective.

All you need in the world is love and laughter. That's all anybody needs. To have love in one hand and laughter in the other.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

I love life in spite of all that mars it. I love friendship, jokes and laughter.

He was born with a gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad.

Every blessed one of you feels better for that burst of laughter.

It is better to write of laughter than of tears, for laughter is the property of man.

The laughter of the aphorism is sometimes triumphant, but seldom carefree.

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

I feel now it's useless to keep hoping. The way things are today, we live in a world that needs laughter, and I've decided if I can make people laugh, I'm making a more important contribution.

Amour is the one human activity of any importance in which laughter and pleasure preponderate, if ever so slightly, over misery and pain.

Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

This happens to be that the power of laughter and love would beat out the power of fear every time. You know, I hate to sound corny about it but it's true, and I think that's what this movie is about.

Laughter is not a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is the best ending for one.

Remember me with smiles and laughter, for that is how I will remember you all. If you can only remember me with tears, then don't remember me at all.