Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud.

I believe in the America people's ability to govern themselves. If government would just get out of the way and allow them to lead their lives as they choose, they will succeed.

We call our country home of the brave and land of the free, but it's not. We give a false portrayal of freedom. We're not free - if we were, we'd allow people their freedom.

Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers. It tells people to go out and stick their noses in other people's business.

Industrial hemp is a very useful plant. I challenged the attorney general to get rid of the criminal stigma associated with hemp so we can look at it in terms of how it might be useful.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life in politics. When I'm finished with my term as governor, I'm going back to the life that's waiting for me in the private sector.

Remember that government doesn't earn one single dollar it spends. In order for you to get money from the government, that money must first be taken from somebody else.

When the Constitution gave us the right to bear arms, it also made us responsible for using them properly. It's not fair of us as citizens to lean more heavily on one side of that equation than on the other.

If I wanna be president, I probably can.

Wrestling is ballet with violence.

I speak my mind. If it offends some people, well, there's not much I can do about that. But I'm going to be honest. I'm going to continue to speak my mind, and that's who I am.

There is much more to being a patriot and a citizen than reciting the pledge or raising a flag.

I'm against the draft. I believe we should have a professional military; it might be smaller, but it would be more effective.

As governor, there isn't a lot I can do beyond that to crack down on crime. Law enforcement is really a local issue. It's the cops' job to tighten down on criminals.

Government's role should be only to keep the playing field level, and to work hand in hand with business on issues such as employment. But beyond this, to as great an extent as possible, it should get the hell out of the way.

You can't legislate morality.

I decided to run for governor because I got mad... I want to make government more directly accountable to the people.

If I could be reincarnated as a fabric, I would come back as a 38 double-D bra.

Government works less efficiently when it begins to grow out of control and takes on more and more of the responsibilities that belong to the citizens.

There are a lot of good causes out there, but they can't possibly all be served by government.

I believe patriotism comes from the heart. Patriotism is voluntary. It is a feeling of loyalty and allegiance that is the result of knowledge and belief.

I asked Dalai Lama the most important question that I think you could ask - if he had ever seen Caddyshack.

I don't support abortion. I could never participate in one. But I think it would be a mistake to make them illegal again.

I don't believe we need the government's help as much as some think we do. That belief sets me apart from the Democrats, since their way of dealing with everything is to tax and spend.

If you were to come to Minnesota, I could have you locked up like that. That's power.

Congratulations, you have a sense of humor. And to those who didn't: Go stick your head in the mud.

Politics is not my life. I have a career in radio and another career in film.

Students often approached me about state-paid tuition while I was out campaigning. After I explained to them that if the state pays their tuition now, they will pay higher taxes to pay other people's tuition for the rest of their lives, most of them ended up agreeing with me.

The Constitution guarantees us our rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. That's all. It doesn't guarantee our rights to charity.

There's no question that we need tougher drunk-driving laws for repeat offenders. We need to take a lesson from European countries where driving isn't a right but a privilege.

I also believe that government has no business telling us how we should live our lives. I think our lifestyle choices should be left up to us. What we do in our private lives is none of the government's business. That position rules out the Republican Party for me.

I don't think I would want the responsibility for enforcing the death penalties. There's always the inevitable question of whether someone you gave the order to execute might truly have been innocent.

Patriotism is voluntary. It is a feeling of loyalty and allegiance that is the result of knowledge and belief. A patriot shows their their patriotism through their actions, by their choice.

All of us should have free choice when it comes to patriotic displays... a government wisely acting within its bounds will earn loyalty and respect from its citizens. A government dare not demand the same.

'The David Letterman Show' is a show of comedy.

'The Young and the Restless' is my favorite television show.

A car is a 2,000 pound projectile that can go 100 miles an hour.

A crime is a crime, regardless of what collar you wear.

A war is justified if you're willing to send your son. If you're not willing to send your son, then how do you send someone else's?

After Barack Obama won the 2008 presidential election, I was heartened to see him issue an Open Government Initiative on his first full day in office.

Al Gore, you've been a real inspiration. But a lot of other people who preach the global warming gospel aren't out to save the world. They're out to run it.

Any party that would put Sarah Palin up on a pedestal will never have my support.

Are you familiar with 9/11? Building 7? You know what was in there? All the Enron stuff. I guess that building went down on its own.

Barack Obama's large contributor was Goldman Sachs - same thing on the Republican side. If you go to both their conventions, you see the same lobbyists paying off both sides so they win either way.

Democrats are so spineless, so afraid to go against the tide... but dissension is the greatest form of patriotism.

Disabled people need more invested in their education, housing, job training, transportation, assistive technology, and independent-living facilities. Governments earn back this investment - and more - by making people with disabilities economically productive citizens.

Don't vote for a Democrat or Republican, I have never voted for one in my life and I never will.

For every day the government is shut down, it should be that we don't have to pay income tax that day because they're not working.

Get every candidate to wear a NASCAR racing suit when they go debate; this way we can see how their sponsors really are.