John Mortimer

All the flower children were as alike as a congress of accountants and about as interesting.

The freedom to make a fortune on the stock exchange has been made to sound more alluring than freedom of speech.

There is always time for failure.

I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.

To escape jury duty in England, wear a bowler hat and carry a copy of the Daily telegraph.

The worst fault of the working classes is telling their children they're not going to succeed.

The only rule I have found to have any validity in writing is not to bore yourself.

Farce is tragedy played at a thousand revolutions per minute.

I suppose that writers should, in a way, feel flattered by the censorship laws. They show a primitive fear and dread at the fearful magic of print.

There is no pleasure worth forgoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric ward.

The shelf life of the modern hardback writer is somewhere between the milk and the yogurt.

No brilliance is needed in the law. Nothing but common sense, and relatively clean finger nails.

The greatest horrors of our world are committed by people who are totally sincere.

Irritable Judges suffer from a bad case of premature adjudication.

A war against terrorism is an impracticable conception if it means fighting terrorism with terrorism.