Most people would rather stay home and watch Casablanca for the fourth time or the 10th time on Turner Classic Movies than go see Matrix 12 or whatever the hell the flavor of the month is.

My favorite comedians were Jimmy Durante, George Burns, senior citizens.

So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work.

My favorite actors when I was a kid were in their '60s. Spencer Tracy, Humphrey Bogart, John Wayne.

The stage is suspension of disbelief. Film is a literal medium.

When I was a kid, there was no distinction between a movie about old people or young people. It was either funny or not. It was either entertaining or not. It was either exciting or not. It was either thrilling or not.

You know, people come up with formulas who are uncreative. They can't picture something different so they can only go by something that's laid out for them.

I get up in the morning, do my e-mail, I check my e-mails all day. I'll go online and I'll buy my books at Amazon.com, but I don't want to buy all of them because I want to go to Duttons and I want to buy books from another human being.

I think grown-ups don't go to movies because they're much more discerning.

I keep working mainly because my wife and I spend most of our time touring the country doing our own plays.

Most people would rather stay home and watch Casablanca for the fourth time or the 10th time on Turner Classic Movies than go see Matrix 12 or whatever the hell the flavor of the month is.

Why can't she move in with you? Is she against that? She's not a Mormon or anything, is she?

But, having said that, believe me, as you get older, the parts dry up. They get less and less.

The stage is suspension of disbelief. Film is a literal medium.

Hell, if I'd jumped on all the dames I'm supposed to have jumped on, I'd have had no time to go fishing.

What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides.

A worker's paradise is a consumer's hell.

There's an inherent thing in me where, if things are going too smooth, I'll sabotage the hell out of them, just to make the music more of a sanctuary.

The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?

I just had one of those "what the hell are we doing" moments.

Mankind is not likely to salvage civilization unless he can evolve a system of good and evil which is independent of heaven and hell.

Capitalism without bankruptcy is like Christianity without hell.

Looking back, I think we were all quite mature, surprisingly responsible. In earlier wars, boys of our age had just gone off to raise hell or enlist or both, but we stayed dutifully at our desks doing tomorrow's homework.

As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven, it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, more vengeance, more desolation. War is hell.

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

How well I have learned that there is no fence to sit on between heaven and hell. There is a deep, wide gulf, a chasm, and in that chasm is no place for any man.

I would rather my soul broil in hell than I do you any harm.

In Hell all the messages you ever left on answering machines will be played back to you.

I'm not a humanitarian, I'm a hell-raiser.

I believe that I am in hell, therefore I am there.

Why? Will no man ever do something without a why? Just like that? For the hell of it?

Our little house was way back in the country. We had one house close to us, and hell the next one would've been a mile. If you got sick, you could holler and wouldn't nobody hear you.

If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.

I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.

The compact which exists between the North and the South is a covenant with death and an agreement with hell.

Christianity supplies a Hell for the people who disagree with you and a Heaven for your friends.

There is many a boy here today who looks on war as all glory, but, boys, it is all hell.

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.

If the world were a bar, America would currently be the angry drunk waving around a loaded gun. Yeah, the other people in the bar may be afraid of him, but they sure as hell don't respect him.

Hell is indefinite.

Doesn't anyone here think this sounds like a vision of hell? While we are all competing or dying, when will there be time for sex or music or books? Stop the world, I want to get off.

Hell is paved with good samaritans.

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

If somebody ever wished to be me for a day, they'd be the most pissed-off person once they got here. They would be, like, in hell.

I believe all drunks go to heaven, because they've been through hell on Earth.

I have watched patients stand and gaze longingly toward the city they in all likelihood will never enter again. It means liberty and life; it seems so near, and yet heaven is not further from hell.

I never want to get to the point where it's all about my needs, and the hell with anybody else.

To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities.