Every writer I know has trouble writing.

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.

I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private individuals.

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane he had to fly them. If he flew them he was crazy and didn't have to; but if he didn't want to he was sane and had to.

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.

I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.

Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.

Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war - for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I'd say we deserve ours more.

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

Every writer I know has trouble writing.

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.

I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

Rise above principle and do what's right.

I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.

Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.

But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as "Catch-22" I'm tempted to reply, "Who has?"

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'

Insanity is contagious.

The enemy is anybody whos going to get you killed no matter which side hes on.

I think that maybe in every company today there is always at least one person who is going crazy slowly.

There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.

But no, I don't generally have trouble with spelling mistakes.

Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble.

Each work seems to give me the most trouble at the time I'm working on it.

I once said, "We will bury you," and I got into trouble with it. Of course we will not bury you with a shovel. Your own working class will bury you.

Humans are imperfect. That's one of the reasons that classical and jazz are in trouble. We're on the quest for the perfect performance and every note has to be right. Man, every note is not right in life.

If I'm alone too long I think too much, and I'm not interested in doing that. That won't lead anywhere good, I'm sure. If I'm busy I tend to stay out of trouble. An idle mind is the devil's playground.

All my pictures are built around the idea of getting in trouble and so giving me the chance to be desperately serious in my attempt to appear as a normal little gentleman.

The trouble with many men is that they have got just enough religion to make them miserable. If there is not joy in religion, you have got a leak in your religion.

It ain't ignorance that causes all the trouble in this world. It's the things people know that ain't so.

When you have a good script you're almost in more trouble than when you have a terrible script.

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.

I do have trouble with titles.

Women like to sit down with trouble - as if it were knitting.

The trouble is it's very difficult to pin-point the most important thing because Aids affects everyone in different levels of society, differently and you have to respond to it differently.

When I'm on stage, I'm trying to do one thing: bring people joy. Just like church does. People don't go to church to find trouble, they go there to lose it.

I was very lucky. Things happened, both bad and good, but I never got into real, deep trouble. But it wore me down. By the time I was 18, I was done. I didn't want to live the life any more. I needed to develop past the point that busking takes you to.

The way Americans understand and treat other peoples almost guarantees that the world will suffer more trouble.

I decided he'd changed so much that a whole new book was required and that book actually I can say so was the first to say that the marriage was in trouble and the Prince didn't like at all and my book was being serialized in the Sunday Times over five weeks.

It's like Samson and Delilah: watch your back, because trouble could be the person you're sleeping with.

Making my class laugh and getting in trouble. I was the class clown.