I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

My goal is, of course, for this show to do well, and I would love it if people liked it.

We are 5 percent of the global population and consume a third of the total resources - on some level we should all feel guilty relative to the world.

There's a pressure regardless of that to do a good show.

I walk around feeling a sort of existential guilt all the time; and honestly for me this house is a way of feeling less guilty about the universe.

It is, I think, harder for women. I haven't quite figured it out, and all of my women friends haven't figured it out -how the hell do you do this? How do you work and have families?

Making a movie is a long, dull process. There's a lot of waiting around.

Everybody seems to know me. It's very strange.

I think Elaine would go out with anyone if they showed interest in her. She's nuts. The woman's nuts.

The war and terrorism in the Middle East, the crisis of leadership in many of the oil-supply countries in the developing world, the crisis of global warming - all these are very clearly tied to energy.

It's much more acceptable for men to work and father kids. There's an inherent inequality, because we want to do it all, and I don't know how we can do this all.

I guess if I wrote a book one day, it would be about hair.

When I got pregnant my foot grew, but I was denying it. I've been denying it for three years.

I'm particularly fortunate to be in a position where I can bring my child to work and be able to get good child care. Not a lot of women have that.

I always wanted to perform.

When I was growing up, I always thought my hair was messy.

Even my great grand-mother did impressions.

The Seinfeld motto: No learning, no hugging.

I really do like to work. I will work again. But on my terms.

Doing a half-hour TV show is a dream.

L.A. I could live without.

The fact of the matter is that everybody treats me pretty much as one of the boys, which I take as a great compliment.

The schedule of doing a live TV show every week is very difficult.

I dropped out of college my junior year to do Saturday Night Live, and I didn't even consult my parents. They were very supportive because they had no choice.

If you feel rooted in your home and family, if you're active in your community, there's nothing more empowering. The best way to make a difference in the world is to start by making a difference in your own life.

I've actually considered going with my married name, Julia Hall, but all the paperwork.

Before computers, telephone lines and television connect us, we all share the same air, the same oceans, the same mountains and rivers. We are all equally responsible for protecting them.

Elaine is just in pain. I think Elaine has become very, very sad woman. She is someone who is in deep need of many hours of analysis and I like to think that I'm not that type of person.

And Seinfeld is so quick: we crank out one show a week, and the hours are very reasonable.

I'm not the type to cut back on hot showers, but there's no harm in hot water when it's warmed by the sun.

New York is nice, but I don't like it as much as I used to.

I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom.

Some people can sometimes really invade your space and kind of never leave you alone.

As an actress, it appeals to me because I love the idea of playing those in-between moments, the sort of behavioral stuff that one might not normally see.

It's funny, 'cause it seems like just yesterday that I was the youngest player just starting out. But now there are young players all over the league, and they'll ask me questions about playing overseas or finding an agent.

When Frank the Pug is singing I Will Survive, the only reason it's funny is that Will is in that shot trying not to get angry. A shot of a dog singing I Will Survive on its own will not get a laugh.

I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said.

Robert Altman's Nashville is my all-time favorite film because it covers all the bases - it's original, moving, and has something to say, but also funny and incredibly entertaining.

You amaze me. You're 229 years old and that's what you think is funny.

You have to understand the tone of the movie, because if it's supposed to be funny, it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff, but you have to really understand the tone of what you're doing and make the action work for that and for the character.

It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger.

Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.

There's a constant flow of child actors. It's kind of funny to watch the new crew come through. I think, You poor little things. You're going to have to struggle for a long time.

For sheer sexiness, a man must be beautiful. Funny. yes. Clever, no.

I don't think there has been any increase in sophistication in the audience. When people are aware of a concept that's easy to understand, and there's an actor who will attract them to the theater and it's a movie that's funny three-quarters of the time, it will be successful.

Books are funny little portable pieces of thought.

I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am.

So while it is true that I find really dark stuff funny sometimes, it's also true that as a writer of books I want to have the whole range of human emotions.

When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group.