From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.

The rule is not to talk about money with people who have much more or much less than you.

Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in.

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.

The disease is painless; it's the cure that hurts.

The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.

Americans, indeed, often seem to be so overwhelmed by their children that they'll do anything for them except stay married to the co-producer.

I am firm. You are obstinate. He is a pig-headed fool.

Why do born-again people so often make you wish they'd never been born the first time?

There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.

The best careers advice to give to the young is 'Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.'

Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for it.

Have you ever taken something out of the clothes hamper because it had become, relatively, the cleanest thing?

A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.

No nice men are good at getting taxis.

A good listener is not someone with nothing to say. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.

Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.

Find out what you like doing best, and get someone to pay you for it.

Spring makes everything look filthy.

I get a little behind during Lent, but it comes out even at Christmas.

If you pray enough for things, I am proof that they can happen. I feel like a kid on Christmas day now, every day. It's something I have wanted for a long time and I am as happy as anyone to be here. It is great to be back at my first love.

When I was 12, all I wanted for Christmas was a trampoline or a four-wheeler. I ended up getting both presents for Christmas.

Christmas renews our youth by stirring our wonder. The capacity for wonder has been called our most pregnant human faculty, for in it are born our art, our science, our religion.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.

Christmas albums are not something you do frequently.

Fantastic! Right in the middle of that long stretch between Christmas and Spring Break, your coats are getting dirty, everything's dark, dingy - what a great time for a movie!

But Tammy Faye calls me, and Ron Jeremy calls me, Erik Estrada sends me a Christmas card every year.

Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive.

There's been a concerted effort to steal Christmas.

I have a musical called Goodbye and Good Luck, based on a Grace Paley short story. I also have King Island Christmas, and there are 20 different productions of it this year.

I intend to keep writing Christmas songs. There's still a lot more about Christmas that can be captured and feel like old-time Christmas. A lot of the traditions haven't been explained in song.

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

Christmas... is not an external event at all, but a piece of one's home that one carries in one's heart.

Dad bought me a toy drum one Christmas, and I eventually destroyed it. I wanted a real drum and he bought me a snare drum. Dad continued to buy me one drum after the other.

To understand this Christmas record, you have to understand our ministry.

Christmas carols always brought tears to my eyes. I also cry at weddings. I should have cried at a couple of my own.

Please to put a nickel, please to put a dime. How petitions trickle in at Christmas time!

Chum was a British boy's weekly which, at the end of the year was bound into a single huge book; and the following Christmas parents bought it as Christmas presents for male children.

Godot is whatever it is in life that you are waiting for: 'I'm waiting to win the lottery. I'm waiting to fall in love'. For me, as a child, it was Christmas. At least that eventually came.

I can't tell you how scary it can be walking onto a movie and suddenly joining this family, it's like going to somebody else's Christmas dinner, everyone knows everyone, and you're there and you're not quite sure what you're supposed to be doing.

We should declare war on North Vietnam. We could pave the whole country and put parking strips on it, and still be home by Christmas.

When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time. Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?

South Park started as a little video Christmas card.

I actually share her view and understand her frustration when any government attempts to ban secular symbols like Santa Claus or Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer or Christmas lights.

Well, because I have twin seven-year-old boys, I enjoy the gift giving stuff a great deal. We do both Hanukkah and Christmas, so it is a costly, though extremely pleasing proposition.

I love Christmas. I really do love Christmas. I love being with my family and I love snow. I love the music and the lights and all of it.

When I was five my parents bought me a ukulele for Christmas. I quickly learned how to play it with my father's guidance. Thereafter, my father regularly taught me all the good old fashioned songs.