There are two things that won't last long in this world, and that's dogs chasing cars and pros putting for pars.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money winner's list.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

One of the nice things about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and cooler. If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic.

I use an Arnold Palmer putter that was probably built back in 1954.

I've traveled the world and been about everywhere you can imagine. There's not anything I'm scared of except my wife.

Golf isn't just my business, it's my hobby.

I think a lot of Jim Thorpe, the Olympian, and his accomplishments.

You can talk to a fade but a hook won't listen.

I met Jesse Owens once. He was a remarkable individual, and I have tremendous respect for what he did in the Olympics under the circumstances.

There is no such thing as natural touch. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls.

The most interesting guy I've ever played with was King Hassan of Morocco. I went over there on a trip in the early 1970s, and the King and I played five holes. I've never been that nervous in my life.

I adore the game of golf. I won't ever retire.

I still sweat. My guts are still grinding out there. Sometimes I have enough cotton in my mouth to knit a sweater.

I'm not out there just to be dancing around. I expect to win every time I tee up.

Yes, I think I have the best swing on the Tour. Why have scores comedown in the last ten years? Partly because they are imitating me.

I've played golf with three U.S presidents.

The older I get the better I used to be!

In case of a thunderstorm, stand in the middle of the fairway and hold up a one iron. Not even God can hit a one iron.

When it comes to the game of life, I figure I've played the whole course.

How can they beat me? I've been struck by lightning, had two back operations, and been divorced twice.

I have an orthopedic pillow that's made out of a sponge material. I have a plate in my throat, and I have to be careful or I could end up with a bad neck in the morning. That pillow is a must everywhere I go.

There are two things that won't last long in this world, and that's dogs chasing cars and pros putting for pars.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm actually a very quiet person off the golf course. I talk 150 miles per hour when I'm at the course, but when in private I very seldom ever open my mouth.

I never played much golf as a kid. I caddied quite a bit but never got serious into golf until about age 15.

Michael Jordan was a tremendous basketball player.

A hungry dog hunts best.

I'm not scared of very much. I've been hit by lightning and been in the Marine Corps for four years.

I stay away from the telephone if at all possible.

No one who ever had lessons would have a swing like mine.

His nerve, his memory, and I can't remember the third thing.

Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money.

My wife doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I don't have a good time.

Pressure is when you play for five dollars a hole with only two in your pocket.

Nobody but you and your caddie care what you do out there, and if your caddie is betting against you, he doesn't care, either.

If I could do anything over, I'd have spent more time with my first set of children. I would have taken more quality time with them, for sure.

My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

Living in Dallas, I root for the Mavericks and the Stars and the Cowboys, but I've always pulled for the Chicago Cubs. I enjoy watching them play.

All my life I had a rapport with black caddies.

Chi Chi Rodriguez had as good a pair of hands as anybody I ever saw, and more shots than you can imagine. But Chi Chi had a habit of turning simple shots into difficult ones.

Green synthetic practice mats are the worst thing for your golf game that I know of. You can hit six inches behind the ball and not even know it, because the ball still gets airborne. Practice nets are awful, too. Swing a weighted club instead.

I believe in reincarnation. In my last life I was a peasant. Next time around, I'd like to be an eagle. Who hasn't dreamed they could fly? They're a protected species, too.

I just feel like I have when I started making a lot of money, I started spreading it out to people. Mickelson, the whole deal, the over-tip: if I see a guy that looks like he needs a hand out or something, I'll pull something out and give him something.

I keep lot of my opinions to myself.

I love watching Anthony Kim play, but I'm not a fan of the way he grips down a good two inches on his full-swing shots. Choking down lightens the club's swingweight and effectively makes the shaft stiffer.

I never think of yesterday. Can't do anything about it.

If your concentration is getting bad, take up bass fishing. It will really improve your ability to focus. If you aren't ready when that fish hits, you can't set the hook.