If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents.

Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there's always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires.

A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it.

Life begins when a person first realizes how soon it will end.

When a man does a household job, he goes through three periods: contemplating how it will be done; contemplating when it will be done; and contemplating.

Eating without conversation is only stoking.

A sparkling house is a fine thing if the children aren't robbed of their luster in keeping it that way.

Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door.

No one knows his true character until he has run out of gas, purchased something on the installment plan and raised an adolescent.

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her.

Our children await Christmas presents like politicians getting in election returns: there's the Uncle Fred precinct and the Aunt Ruth district still to come in.

If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents.

Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves.

Weather means more when you have a garden. There's nothing like listening to a shower and thinking how it is soaking in around your green beans.

One sure way to lose another woman's friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.

Life is like a camel you can make it do anything except back up.

When a man does a household job he goes through three periods contemplating how it will be done contemplating when it will be done and contemplating.

One sure way to lose another womans friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.

Parenthood: That state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage.

A teenager out of sight is like a kite in the clouds; even though you can't see it you feel the tug on the string.

A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by mother, who sees that the others get it.

I started recording because I was always complaining about the records that I was getting of my songs. At least if I did them and messed them up, I wouldn't have anyone else to blame.

It is no use to blame the looking glass if your face is awry.

Jewish villages were built in the place of Arab villages. You do not even know the names of these Arab villages, and I do not blame you because geography books no longer exist.

It's hard to blame someone because they simply don't have time.

I blame myself more so because I hung a curve. If you want to point a finger, point it at me.

I do not believe we can blame genetics for adultery, homosexuality, dishonesty and other character flaws.

What to do? We yanked the dress up over her lovely attributes and with the addition of a scarf, the problem was solved. Sorry, guys, blame that stuffy censor. He hated surprises.

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

The anger that appears to be building up between the sexes becomes more virulent with every day that passes. And far from women taking the blame... the fact is that men are invariably portrayed as the bad guys. Being a good man is like being a good Nazi.

Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself.

I've criticized President Bush for his failure to use his veto pen. There's plenty of blame to go around. The question is how to solve problems. It's not bailouts. What made America great? Free markets, free enterprise, manufacturing, job creation. That's how we're gonna do it, not by enlarging government.

If people don't like Marxism, they should blame the British Museum.

I think in the wake of Katrina, the Coast Guard may well have been the only entity or agency that came out of that exercise free of fault and free of blame.

I wish I could blame it on the choreography, but it's not a musical. I just had a clumsy moment.

I think it's very important that you make your own decision about what you are. Therefore you're responsible for your actions, so you don't blame other people.

People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if the water mains didn't break, would it be my responsibility to fix them then?

There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves we feel no one else has a right to blame us.

For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society?

Luck's always to blame.

And I think, on the other end, there were actors who were not as good as I was, perhaps who could have hung in too, but began to blame everything on race.

We believe that to err is human. To blame it on someone else is politics.

Are we to say that any individual who's on steroids that has an angry moment is due to steroids? What about the individual who gets angry and kills someone who's not on steroids? What do we blame it on now?

Can you blame them? We have to filter so much information these days. But it does make it difficult for an artist. I'm 46 years old now. I've had a lot of life experience and my voice has changed. People who expect the same old me are bound to be disappointed.

The only thing that frightens me a little is when I'm called Kevin rather than Fred, but that's how people have known me for so many years. So, I can't really blame them.

All men and women have an equal need for love. When these needs are not fulfilled it is easy to have our feelings hurt, for which we blame our partner.

Oh! blame not the bard.

We experience problem-solving sessions as war zones, we view competing ideas as enemies, and we use problems as weapons to blame and defeat opposition forces. No wonder we can't come up with real lasting solutions!