It's just something that's sort of funny, sort of not.

The second we see somebody on the street or meet someone, we make snap judgments about them, about who they are and why we wouldn't necessarily sit with them or why we would or what's cool or not cool.

I don't want to wait more than a year and a half or two years between books.

It's just something that's sort of funny, sort of not.

Milkmen seem so wholesome, and there's no way anybody can be that wholesome.

We live in a society that blames everybody else for what's wrong.

People get really caught up in their own trips.

We all have our pet things that we like to get religious about.

You ever try to go a day without judgment?

Yeah, I don't deal with current events or pop culture, and I avoid politics like the plague.

That's not so important to me, that time thing.

People are going to behave however the social norms permit, and beyond that.

I wanted to be a painter.

I am too old for an eyebrow piercing but too young for an eyebrow lift.

Now interpersonal politics... that's what it's all about.

As soon as I can afford a studio space, I'll paint again.

I just thought I'd take a break from publishing for a while.

I'm just trying to portray what I find ironic or humorous.

People are essentially red meat. They are.

I imagine I'll continue on doing it for many years to come.

I just don't want anyone messing around with my pure smoking pleasure.

I grew up in a military family, and there's something about that military-style uniform, all cleaned up, a brutal control effort the military necessarily breeds.

These censorship people think something is going to promote behavior in people.

I hope to actually get back to painting someday... soon. I sort of transitioned into cartooning from painting.

We're going to have the same demographic spread of nutcases and the same spread of everybody in between.

I was doing illustration work, and the cartooning slowly took over.

But if I'm going to cause somebody else discomfort by my actions, then I should probably modify my actions toward them to make them as comfortable as possible.

What really grabs me about living in Tucson is the color beige.

Well, I am a lot like my dad, and the character of Ted is based on my dad.

It's funny, 'cause it seems like just yesterday that I was the youngest player just starting out. But now there are young players all over the league, and they'll ask me questions about playing overseas or finding an agent.

When Frank the Pug is singing I Will Survive, the only reason it's funny is that Will is in that shot trying not to get angry. A shot of a dog singing I Will Survive on its own will not get a laugh.

I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said.

Robert Altman's Nashville is my all-time favorite film because it covers all the bases - it's original, moving, and has something to say, but also funny and incredibly entertaining.

You amaze me. You're 229 years old and that's what you think is funny.

You have to understand the tone of the movie, because if it's supposed to be funny, it can be funny violent like the Home Alone stuff, but you have to really understand the tone of what you're doing and make the action work for that and for the character.

It is funny that men who are supposed to be scientific cannot get themselves to realise the basic principle of physics, that action and reaction are equal and opposite, that when you persecute people you always rouse them to be strong and stronger.

Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.

There's a constant flow of child actors. It's kind of funny to watch the new crew come through. I think, You poor little things. You're going to have to struggle for a long time.

For sheer sexiness, a man must be beautiful. Funny. yes. Clever, no.

I don't think there has been any increase in sophistication in the audience. When people are aware of a concept that's easy to understand, and there's an actor who will attract them to the theater and it's a movie that's funny three-quarters of the time, it will be successful.

Books are funny little portable pieces of thought.

I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It's kind of based on how I am.

So while it is true that I find really dark stuff funny sometimes, it's also true that as a writer of books I want to have the whole range of human emotions.

When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group.

So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work.

Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed.

Baldwin is sort of getting to be a bit funny. I don't know what happened, but a few years ago they suddenly went bankrupt and Gibson bought the whole outfit. Since then they haven't seemed to be doing an awfully good job of providing pianos.

It's funny how sometimes how the public some people think I was born like this. That I maybe I sleep and I do big muscle, but its a lot of work to look like this and to be in this kind of condition.

I think back to some of the things Harry said and some of the things I said trying to be funny. If I said them now, it would be on the front page of every newspaper in the country.