Nigel Rees

I was terribly shy and never said anything in class. Then I started getting into school plays. When you've got words to say, you've got a sort of armour.

It is part of politics to make things look better than they really are. What is a spin doctor but a serial euphemiser?

Euphemism in the workplace does not end with job descriptions. It reaches a pusillanimous peak at the other end of the work process - in dismissal.

How come there's only one Monopolies Commission?

People will say what they want to say, in the way they want to.

Democracy is too good to share with just anybody.

I was broadcast-struck from an early age; I had saved up for a tape recorder and started making programmes.

You wish to put a positive construction on your deeds and words.

I was absolutely a non-starter at games. My report for rugby said, 'Nigel's chief contribution is his presence on the field.' I used to pray for rain and sometimes it did rain - and we played anyway.

I got into New College, Oxford. The ethos was that you could work - or not.

My job involves searching for 'lost' quotations - that is, trying to find out who came up with a quotable saying that lingers in someone's mind and which they wish to use for their own purpose and which they cannot find in conventional dictionaries of quotation.