I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

Once Dwight Eisenhower makes up his mind, he's full of indecision.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left.

Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you'll find the real tinsel underneath.

I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel.

I have no trouble with y enemies. But my god damn friends... they are the ones that keep me walking the floors at night.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.

I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.

Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.

I am no more humble than my talents require.

I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.

I don't drink. I don't like it. It makes me feel good.

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I think a lot of Bernstein - but not as much as he does.

So little time and so little to do.

Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.

Ballet is the fairies baseball.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility. There are so few of us left.

It's not what your are, it's what you don't become that hurts.

I started recording because I was always complaining about the records that I was getting of my songs. At least if I did them and messed them up, I wouldn't have anyone else to blame.

It is no use to blame the looking glass if your face is awry.

Jewish villages were built in the place of Arab villages. You do not even know the names of these Arab villages, and I do not blame you because geography books no longer exist.

It's hard to blame someone because they simply don't have time.

I blame myself more so because I hung a curve. If you want to point a finger, point it at me.

I do not believe we can blame genetics for adultery, homosexuality, dishonesty and other character flaws.

What to do? We yanked the dress up over her lovely attributes and with the addition of a scarf, the problem was solved. Sorry, guys, blame that stuffy censor. He hated surprises.

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

The anger that appears to be building up between the sexes becomes more virulent with every day that passes. And far from women taking the blame... the fact is that men are invariably portrayed as the bad guys. Being a good man is like being a good Nazi.

Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself.

I've criticized President Bush for his failure to use his veto pen. There's plenty of blame to go around. The question is how to solve problems. It's not bailouts. What made America great? Free markets, free enterprise, manufacturing, job creation. That's how we're gonna do it, not by enlarging government.

If people don't like Marxism, they should blame the British Museum.

I think in the wake of Katrina, the Coast Guard may well have been the only entity or agency that came out of that exercise free of fault and free of blame.

I wish I could blame it on the choreography, but it's not a musical. I just had a clumsy moment.

I think it's very important that you make your own decision about what you are. Therefore you're responsible for your actions, so you don't blame other people.

People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if the water mains didn't break, would it be my responsibility to fix them then?

There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves we feel no one else has a right to blame us.

For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society?