Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

If I lose show business - I'll really be an orphan!

Then, there was Cary Grant. He spent three hours a week in hospitals teaching nervous people how to eat jello.

There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing.

I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping.

I'll tell you the truth; I wanted to leave me for Sid Caesar.

Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time.

Working mothers do an hour more per day than working fathers do and working mothers do on average an hour more per day with the kids than working fathers do.

I didn't do the typical things that young kids do.

My kids enjoy the Disney program, Lizzy McGuire.

I want to spend more time with those kids. I want to dedicate my time to train those kids and teach them what it takes, what they need to do to get to this level.

I think having eight kids evens things out a bit. You learn about the world; you learn about the world; you learn you've got to get along. We're all - if anything - very adjustable.

We're parents first, and once you have kids, everybody knows that you have priority lists. Number one is your family and everything else just kind of finds its place.

I want to promote poetry to the point where you got all the baldhead kids running around doing poetry, getting the music out of the way and having only words, the spoken word, and then see what happens.

If kids like a picture book, they're going to read it at least 50 times. Read anything that often, and even minor imperfections start to feel like gravel in the bed.

Sounds so silly, but I want to accomplish getting my kids through college.

And there's a lot of that stuff with people bringing their kids, kids bringing their parents, people bringing their grandparents - I mean, it's gotten to be really stretched out now. It was never my intention to say, this is the demographics of our audience.

It's up to each person's parents whether they think it's too frightening or too violent, how much their kids can handle, what they want to teach them, what they want to show them.

For kids it's natural to be competitive.

I'd hope to reach any kid who feels apart from the group - those who seem to be outsiders, who feel different. Kids who want to reach their parents often don't know how to do so.

So, not only am I panicking over the weekend if I need to know my lines, but also if can I get the kids to the zoo. Can I even go to church? I was asking for certain things that would allow me to plan my life a little better.

The real question isn't whether you love your kids or not, but how well you are able to demonstrate your love and caring so that your children really feel loved.

Young kids are taking Viagra, ecstasy. They even want instant sex.

I think women are natural caretakers. They take care of everybody. They take care of their husbands and their kids and their dogs, and don't spend a lot of time just getting back and taking time out.

The Professional Children's School, it's for professional kids, so if you wanted to ditch, you could just write, Audition on a note and leave. I didn't really like school all that much.

I mean, obviously, a lot of people know me around the world. Kids know me.

My kids act all the time and it's exactly what I used to do.

I'm doing naughty things, I'm drinking too much, I'm going to clubs. It really didn't matter to me, other than the fact that some parents wouldn't let their kids hang out with me.

Kids shouldn't see all the violence they do these days. But the industry just doesn't care.

In Georgia it's a little different because of the East Cobb program. It's such a strong program that we see a lot of kids that come through here on a lot of different teams from across the country that come here to play in tournaments.

I was babysitting the night High School Musical premiered last year. I watched with the kids and we sang along to the lyrics. I was making $12 an hour.

I love fatherhood. I could bang on about kids forever.

All we can do when we think of kids today is think of more hours of school, earlier age at the computer, and curfews. Who would want to grow up in that world?

Mom and Dad would stay in bed on Sunday morning, but the kids would have to go to church.

Kids today don't watch a black and white movie.

At the end of the program, I tried to talk to the kids a little bit about life skills.

If these men decided that they have to go in there and fight, I want them to send their own children and grandchildren. I want them to not send a bunch of strangers' kids in there to fight and die.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

Too many kids today are playing major league ball and don't belong there.

Playtime and toys are good for kids, or they wouldn't buy them. McDonald's can provide that experience. And having dinner with the family is good for kids.

We have two kids, my wife and myself.

I am so excited to let fans in on how important my relationship with my family is to me. I hope to motivate mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams.

Yes, there was nothing else to do to get you high. I mean, there was, but white kids didn't hear about it.

Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.

I'm talking like 10, 12 years old. Either junior brings Mom and Pop or Mom and Pop bring the kids. I'm talking young here, not a college drinking crowd.

The easiest way to convince my kids that they don't really need something is to get it for them.

I met Kevin when I was 19, at a Second City workshop. We were paired up together in the first class I went to. By the end of the class we formed our improv group, and over the next three years we performed leading up to the formation of The Kids in the Hall.