Comedians still make fun of Bill's out-of-control appetites, but with Hillary, the mockery is about how she lets nothing be out of control.

Clinton's fakery was so deft and deeply ingrained that it was impossible to tell where it ended and the real Bill Clinton began. This constituted a kind of political genius.

There's no wobble in Bush. If anything, the opposite. Right after hello, the next words out of his mouth are: I've never been more convinced that the decisions I made are the right decisions.

Bush's faith in the rightness of his strategy in the broader war is deep-seated. It is a product of faith.

Because liberalism typically doesn't sell in American presidential politics, liberal candidates tend to run as culturally conservative centrists.

The debate about the war seems pretty robust and free. Many publications, from the New Yorker to the Nation, feel perfectly comfortable printing anti-American articles and that's fine. That's what the First Amendment is all about.

Message to Obama: Fighting the Clinton machine won't be as easy as picking up favorable press clips.

It is Hillary's lot in life not to be able to fake it well.

Al Gore's performances could be a case study in abnormal-psychology classes.

Almost all political campaigns involve falsity and playacting.

Bill Clinton was a liberal who could appeal to conservative-leaning Bubba voters.

John Kerry couldn't even order a Philly cheesesteak properly.

In person, George W. Bush is extremely forceful. He has a restless energy when he sits in a chair, and nearly leaps out of it when making certain points.

Comedians still make fun of Bill's out-of-control appetites, but with Hillary, the mockery is about how she lets nothing be out of control.

Calculation has its advantages, but no one likes naked calculation.

The senior officer who met with reporters in Baghdad said there had been 21 car bombings in the capital in May, and 126 in the past 80 days. All last year, he said, there were only about 25 car bombings in Baghdad.

You have to check out 'March of the Penguins'. Penguins are the really ideal example of monogamy.

If Bill was all id, Hillary is all superego.

Al Gore adopted three utterly different personas in three national presidential debates.

France will always be France no matter what, but America involves striving toward an ideal.

Parents are the most likely to be victims of the violence of their mentally ill children.

When my dad was badly weakened by the flu and my mom wanted to call an ambulance to take him to the emergency room, he wouldn't go unless he could shave first and change into a nice shirt and a pair of slacks.

When they are treated, the seriously mentally ill aren't more violent than the general population. If untreated, though, they are.

Yes, this is 21st-century America. Where we have better means to treat mental illness than ever before, but choose to let the insane people decide to get it or not.

Arizona seeks only to enforce the nominal immigration policy of the United States. Perhaps the federal government should try it sometime.

A flag doesnt cause someone to sit in a prayer meeting for an hour and then stand up and shoot people.

Multiculturalism, if its logic is fully played out, is the ideology of national suicide.

I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.

My favorite comedians were Jimmy Durante, George Burns, senior citizens.

Comedians are not usually actors, but imitations of actors.

Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.

I was up until all hours of the night, listening to stories, meeting great old comedians.

It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.

It seemed to me you could do anything in comics. So I started doing my thing, which is mainly influenced by novelists, stand-up comedians, that sort of thing.

I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians.

Ever since I was a kid, I just loved those comedians on TV who would just have fun with the language.

I believe it is important for comedians to know who came before them.

The real good comedians, like Chaplin, would make you laugh and a second later, cry.

Whatever talent I had, I'm sure it helped that my parents were in the business and that I grew up around actors, comedians and directors.

Comedians walk out, get a feel for the crowd. If it's not going good, we change directions. If we got to drag your momma into this thing, we will. Whatever we got to do.

But it's fun to be something, have that, and you don't have to be real. It's like, comedians. They go on and they're doing all these jokes. I would be like that if I were more awake.

I thought comedians had to have black on their faces or red beards.

Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not.

They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever.

That's why modern corporate movie making has become so laborious that comedians are kind of kicked out by 50.

I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.

It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I have no problem with comedians who don't work that way. There was a temptation in the early '70s to reconsider. I decided against it.

I have worked with a great many comedians as opposed to comics, although I have worked with comics as well, I make the distinction.

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take ourselves seriously on any level; we're just comedians.