You can't take up golf on a whim and find yourself competing against Tiger Woods in the Masters six months later.

Living in the past is a Jethro Tull album, not a smart poker strategy.

Sometimes a 3-1 favorite loses. That's why they call it gambling, and that's why they keep flipping over the cards.

You're not allowed to give yourself a nickname. This holds true in life as well as in poker.

Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked ladies. Women's magazines also often feature pictures of naked ladies. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day.

That's why I've always been appreciative of truly creative radio commercials.

Even though we're a week and a half away from Thanksgiving, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

The truth is that our way of celebrating the Christmas season does spring from myriad cultures and sources, from St. Nicholas to Coca-Cola advertising campaigns.

When we root-root-root for the home team, we're rooting for our home as much as the team.

Wal-Mart doesn't really care about your faith. Wal-Mart cares if you have money to spend, and it is going to be as generic as possible in exploiting the holiday season for every buck it can make.

I've been playing Texas Hold 'em and other forms of poker since I was about 12.

On first blush, Hold 'em seems like a ridiculously simple game.

You can't take up golf on a whim and find yourself competing against Tiger Woods in the Masters six months later.

Well, I think one of the reasons Chicago became so popular as a filmmaker location is because New York had been used so many times that Chicago, I think, was rediscovered maybe in the late '60s, early '70s for a long time as a new location.

I became addicted to the movie-going experience in the 1970s, when I attended multiple screenings of films such as 'Chinatown', 'Jaws', 'Star Wars' and the original 'Rocky'.

I grew up in Dolton, just south of Chicago, about a 20-minute drive from old Comiskey Park.

I loved watching classics such as 'Casablanca' and goofball comedies such as 'How To Murder Your Wife' on WGN-TV.

I'm a lifelong bachelor, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't marry the right woman.

There's a lot of vitriolic ranting out there, but there are literally hundreds of critics on the web who care deeply about film and having something to say about it.

Whether it's viewers of the show or readers of my columns and books, I'm consistently impressed with their wit, humor and insight. That goes for about 95 percent of the audience. The other five percent are why the 'Delete' option and restraining orders were invented.

I have a project at HBO and one at the Family Channel coming that are being looked at. Aside from that I am not doing much more than playing golf and some skiing.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

My first calendar was a combination of photos taken from different shoots including golf and casual.

There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.

I think travel is probably the downside of playing professional golf, but you've got to do it.

Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake.

They call it golf because all the other four-letter words were taken.

Golf may be a hussy, but I love her.

I don't like going to the mall. I'm not really like the other girls. I just like to go out on the golf course and play. Golf is fun and feels really good.

The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish.

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf.

Confidence in golf means being able to concentrate on the problem at hand with no outside interference.

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

A golf course is nothing but a pool room moved outdoors.

In tennis, you can make a couple of mistakes and still win. Not in golf. I played three rounds in that Tahoe event, and I was drained. Mentally, not physically.

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green.

For example, in my district there are visitors from all over the world who are drawn to our beautiful beaches, recreational lakes, habitat wildlife preserves and golf courses.

I've been writing a lot, I've a few projects I'm trying to finance, I do some acting, I do some directing... Apart from that, if I could get lower that a ten handicap on my golf game I'd be thrilled.

I mean, I can actually say goodbye to the game of golf, never hit another golf shot the rest of my life and I'd be happy because I can get back in life without any rotation.

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

Few learn golf in a lifetime.

Tennis and golf are best played, not watched.

If there's a golf course in heaven, I hope it's like Augusta National. I just don't want an early tee time.

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

At one point, I had 14 pairs of golf shoes.

Golf courses sell real estate and that's why they're built.

My hobbies and leisure activities include cars and golf.

Both of us played basketball, and I played tennis and my knees are done. Now if you ask us head-to-head who wins at golf, I'm asking for a couple of strokes.

The object of golf is not just to win. It is to play like a gentleman, and win.