Ring Lardner

The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have.

An optimist is a girl who mistakes a bulge for a curve.

They gave each other a smile with a future in it.

Walter Mayer was a hero at a Salvation Army home fire in Cincinnati.

I've known what it is to be hungry, but I always went right to a restaurant.

No one, ever, wrote anything as well even after one drink as he would have done with out it.

He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered.

A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.

The only real happiness a ballplayer has is when he is playing a ball game and accomplishes something he didn't think he could do.