Robert A. Heinlein

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.

It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy “ in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.

I don't see how an article of clothing can be indecent. A person, yes.

Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.

We each have a moral obligation to conserve and preserve beauty in this world; there is none to waste.

An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.

Just before their periods women behave the way men do all the time.

Woman and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

One man's ˜magic' is another man's engineering. ˜Supernatural' is a null word.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.

To permit irresponsible authority is to sell disaster.

Everything is theoretically impossible, until it is done.

Being right too soon is socially unacceptable.

Decency is not news. It is buried in the obituaries but it is a force stronger than crime.

When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is not far away. It is time to go elsewhere. The best thing about space travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.

Don't ever become a pessimist a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

It's an indulgence to sit in a room and discuss your beliefs as if they were a juicy piece of gossip.

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. "Supernatural" is a null word.

One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others.

Almost any sect cult or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.

There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.

Nothing uses up alcohol faster than political argument.

Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of but do it in private and wash your hands afterward.

If a grasshopper tries to fight a lawnmower one may admire his courage but not his judgement.

By cultivating the beautiful we scatter the seeds of heavenly flowers, as by doing good we cultivate those that belong to humanity.

Every general prohibition creates its bootleggers.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.

A society that gets rid of all its troublemakers goes downhill.

Obscurity is the refuge of incompetence.

Unarmed hand to hand fighting does not change through the ages; only the name changes, and it has only one rule: do it first, do it fast, do it dirtiest.

Television leaves no external scars.

Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation.

May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live.

Hate always sells well but for repeat trade and the long pull happiness is sounder merchandise.

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy.

Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a cat.

Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things.

The only thing privacy laws accomplish is making the bugs smaller.

There is no way that writers can be tamed and rendered civilized or even cured. The only solution known to science is to provide the patient with an isolation room, where he can endure the acute stages in private and where food can be poked in to him with a stick.

You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.

Widows are far better than brides. They don't tell, they won't yell, they don't swell, they rarely smell, and they're grateful as hell.

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.

Life is short, but the years are long.

Citizenship is an attitude a state of mind an emotional conviction that the whole is greater than the part. and that the part should be humbly proud to sacrifice itself that the whole may live.

Fulfillment in life is loving a good woman and killing a bad man.

Ability is a wonderful thing but its value is greatly enhanced by dependability. Ability implies repeatability and accountability.

When any government, or any church for that matter, undertakes to say to its subjects, This you may not read, this you must not see, this you are forbidden to know, the end result is tyranny and oppression no matter how holy the motives.

For me, politeness is a sine qua non of civilization.

To be matter-of-fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy - and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful.

In a mature society, 'civil servant' is semantically equal to 'civil master'.

Youre in bad shape when your emotions force you into acts which you know are foolish.

Contemplation must bring forth right action in order to permit further growth.

Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything.

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again.

Anybody can see a pretty girl. An artist can look at a pretty girl and see the old woman she will become. A better artist can look at an old woman and see the pretty girl she used to be.

One mans magic is another mans engineering. Supernatural is a null word.

I know why we laugh. We laugh because it hurts, and it's the only thing to make it stop hurting.

Progress doesn't come from early risers - progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things.

Of all the creatures on this planet none is more dangerous than a human being.

Any priest or shaman must be presumed guilty until proved innocent.

Progress isn't made by early risers. It's made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.

I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.

Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse.

Money is truthful. If a man speaks of his honor make him pay cash.

Abstract knowledge is always useful, sooner or later.

The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship.

Progress isnt made by early risers. Its made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.

A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.

Never insult anyone by accident.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. You waste your time and you annoy the pig.

Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's supposed to do.

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy - in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.

Social responsibility above the level of family, or at most of tribe, requires imagination-- devotion, loyalty, all the higher virtues -- which a man must develop himself; if he has them forced down him, he will vomit them out.

Don't ever become a pessimist... a pessimist is correct oftener than an optimist, but an optimist has more fun, and neither can stop the march of events.

I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.

One could write a history of science in reverse by assembling the solemn pronouncements of highest authority about what could not be done and could never happen.

Everything is theoretically impossible until it is done.

Being a mother is an attitude not a biological relation.

No statement should be believed because it is made by an authority.

They didn't want it good, they wanted it Wednesday.

No intelligent man has any respect for an unjust law.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.

There are no dangerous weapons. There are only dangerous men.

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done and why. Then do it.

Political tags - such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative, and so forth - are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire.

Once a month, some women act like men act all the time.

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.

Formal courtesy between husband and wife is even more important than it is between strangers.

A generation which ignores history has no past and no future.

The universe never did make sense; I suspect it was built on government contract.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own... Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy.

Never tease an old dog he might have one bite left.

In a dilemma it is helpful to change any variable then reexamine the problem.

Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.

Delusions are often functional. A mothers opinions about her childrens beauty intelligence goodness et cetera ad nauseam keep her from drowning them at birth.