Ruby Wax

I am lucky to have good Polish skin that doesn't wrinkle so I might be around for a few years yet.

I never weigh myself, but the brutal truth of television is that they don't employ old people or fat people.

Some interviewees you make friends with and some you don't.

Like any working mother I find it hard to have a social life. But my kids are so well adjusted. There isn't a brat bone in their body so I haven't done anything that bad.

Being a mother is hard and it wasn't a subject I ever studied.

I've told so many lies about my age I don't know how old I am myself.

I don't combine proteins and carbohydrates.

College atheletes used to get a degree in bringing your pencil.

I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced.

I can't do anything too serious like Saddam Hussein, but I would like to do Bill Clinton. That'd be fun.

You have to be great friends and make each other laugh. We laugh a lot and neither is jealous of the other.

I knew nothing about football, then someone showed me a film of Petit and I realised how interesting the game could be. He is divine. When I met him I could barely speak, he was so gorgeous. Women will love that show.

Nannies love working in our house because they never know who's gonna walk through the door.

I'm lucky not to have a nine-to-five job.

I have to keep reminding myself that I am their mother. Sometimes we are sitting at home and I feel like we are waiting for our mom to come home.

Mum used to hide love letters from my boyfriends and put me down. Now I understand that she was a Polish immigrant forced to settle in Chicago. She was jealous of the freedom life gave me.