I'm not trying to find another thing that's wrong with me, but I'm such a nice person, and I have a couple of drinks and I'm really good fun and then I'm really not fun.

I don't ask for an apology because it's only tomorrow's fish-and-chip paper.

I've got over so much. Mum wouldn't want anything to come into my life that would make me fragile again.

One thing that success has taught me is censorship.

I thought it would be my one and only exhibition, so I decided to call it My Major Retrospective.

Some people use just one condom, right? But we use tons.

With any story I write, I could actually write it from three or four different perspectives, which would end with a completely different moral at the end.

My mum has never wanted me to have children. She thinks I would be destroying my life, even now.

The idea that I'm going to have to sit down to write some fiction where I'm going to have to think of a plot would really scare me, because it would come out a mess.

When I got the phrase media whore thrown in my face last year, I thought, Oh my God, if you only knew.

They grew really quickly. One minute I didn't have any tits and the next I had the biggest tits in the world.

I have hardly any friends who aren't gay.

I'm not trying to find another thing that's wrong with me, but I'm such a nice person, and I have a couple of drinks and I'm really good fun and then I'm really not fun.

People try constantly to use me, and I hate it.

If I didn't want to work for a couple of years, I wouldn't have to-it's a great feeling, to know I'm doing it because I want to do it.

What is truth? Truth doesn't really exist. Who is going to judge whether my experience of an incident is more valid than yours? No one can be trusted to be the judge of that.

Maybe I don't believe things myself, as well. Truth is such a transient thing.

There's so much stuff said about me that's not true, so now if something is hurtful and wrong, I send an e-mail or letter immediately, saying, This is not true.

I'm out of here, I'm better than all of you.

It's happened time and time again, but the committee has always decided against it-the work was too conservative or didn't fit within the budget; there are millions of different reasons.

It pleases me that people can be interactive.

All the mistakes I've ever made in my life have been when I've been drunk. I haven't made hardly any mistakes sober, ever, ever.

I am fiercely independent and I probably wouldn't be if it wasn't for the way in which I was brought up.

I've been slagged off completely by the art world.

It wasn't so much destroying my dancing, it was destroying me.

They look at someone like me, and I just really get up their nose. I really wind them up.

People don't remember. Revenge is sweet.

There is nothing difficult about my work, and people get to hear it from me.

It's my memory, and what happened between that moment 10 or 15 years ago and now, there's a lot of gray area.

I never grew up.

I really love animals. My cat is my little soul mate. He's not just a cat, he's my friend.

I'd make a good friend, not mother. I'm too selfish. I think a lot of mothers are selfish and they end up having children, but I don't want to put some small tiny person through that.

I've got to start using my brain more - I've got to be more ethereal and more enlightened.

There's different kinds of love, and I'd never experienced that kind of totally platonic love. All the love I've experienced has always been a kind of deal, and now, as I get older, I realise that there's this other love out there.

When you're 20 or 30, looking ahead, you see these benchmarks for relationships, career, ambition, sexuality, and they went off into infinity. When you get to 50, you look at what's ahead of you, and there's an end. It goes into a nothingness, a void.

If you have children, you don't want to have drugs and drinks in the house. It's just not good.

I used to be a good party boy. I'm old. I'm an old man. You pay the consequences. I'm just fine with a couple of drinks, no more than that.

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn't afterward.

Everyone drinks more during a recession; they want to forget.

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

All men, even those we call savages, have been so tormented by the passion for strong drinks, that limited as their capacities were, they were yet able to manufacture them.

It's a fairly recent thing but I've become very fond of making drinks myself.

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

I'm not trying to find another thing that's wrong with me, but I'm such a nice person, and I have a couple of drinks and I'm really good fun and then I'm really not fun.

In football, there were drinks available everywhere you looked. On a golf tournament, you could find one free anywhere you wanted it. In tennis and NBA basketball, everybody had a hospitality suite, and so you could go there and load up if you wanted to.

I'd rather see you drink a glass of wine than a glass of milk. So many people drink Coca-Cola and all these soft drinks with sugar. Some of these drinks have 8 or 9 teaspoons of sugar in them What's the good of living if you can't have the things that give a little enjoyment?

If I can wake up everyday before I die and know that I don't have to serve anyone food or drinks, I will be happy!

I've got a stag weekend coming up and I've said I'm not doing anything more than a few drinks. I won't have it. I'll go home and watch Antiques Roadshow.

May this house stand until an ant drinks the ocean and a tortoise circles the world.