If you want your writing to be taken seriously, don't marry and have kids, and above all, don't die. But if you have to die, commit suicide. They approve of that.
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Grieving like being blind is a strange business you have to learn how to do it. We seek company in mourning but after the early bursts of tears after the praises have been spoken and the good days remembered and the lament cried and the grave closed there is no company in grief. It is a burden borne alone.