It's okay to laugh in the bedroom so long as you don't point.

There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it.

Men are superior to women, for one thing they can urinate from a speeding car.

It's okay to laugh in the bedroom so long as you don't point.

How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican.

I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian.

Comedy is defiance. It's a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And it's the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.

Well, we won the war. You know what that means. In twenty years, we'll all be driving Iraqi cars.

I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where the car is.

Its okay to laugh in the bedroom so long as you dont point

Comedy is defiance. Its a snort of contempt in the face of fear and anxiety. And its the laughter that allows hope to creep back on the inhale.

In San Francisco, Halloween is redundant.

I've been performing my whole life. My mom signed me up for a theater program when I was five - I was the evil queen in 'Once Upon a Mattress.'

In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was planned that way.

Large fortunes are all founded either on the occupation of land, or lending or the taxation of labor.

People expect all women to react the same to pregnancy. But anyone who's been around pregnant women knows that it's not all cutesy and sweet. You spaz out and you're angry and you have tantrums.

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else.

Certain readers resented me when they could no longer recognize their territory, their institution.

Getting a tax refund is nice, but having more money year-round is better. If you get a chunk of change from the IRS, you're giving the government an interest-free loan - not something they, or any bank, would ever give you. Instead, change your withholding so you get a little extra in each paycheck.

My guitar was a loyal person to me.

I myself would like to become more disciplined within my work.

Forty is the old age of youth fifty the youth of old age.

Sensuality is the hustle to always be at the leading edge of your glamour and enchantment.

There are so many people that have come up to me during our shows and tell me: "The hour that we are watching your show is the hour that my kids are happiest and are smiling, they are laughing," and that is what I long to do.

The world must know that America holds to the highest standards of military conduct and human rights protections. Anything less is unacceptable.

Talk well of the absent whenever you have the opportunity.

The most dangerous enemy is that which no one fears.

We live in a world where there are dangerous people, there are bad people.

In this business, my business, I get to meet all kinds of incredible people, fascinating people, glamorous people and sexy people and highly intellectual people. And you meet them and you go 'interesting, interesting, interesting'. They're interesting, but not very many people stop you in your tracks.

Despite the fact the studio looks out of five windows onto a picture perfect view of sky, hills and wide open spaces, I work with my blinds firmly drawn, daylight filtered through their white canvas, a painterly northern light falling through two big skylights above my table, and nothing visible outside to distract me.

If you're taking care of yourself, then what can somebody else tell you?

The magic was in the Marshall Plan itself. It provided an opportunity for appealing and constructive work. In a sense, the mission chiefs were given the opportunity to help act as architects for the new Europe that was envisioned.

I treasure my meetings with individuals affected by autism - parents, children, teachers and friends. Their strength is inspiring. They deserve all possible opportunities for education, employment and integration.

It's more important to try to do something for the crores of poor people of my country.

Silence is one of the great arts of conversation.

I went to engineering school, I went to physics class. I said, 'Screw this, I don't want to be here. I'd much rather be at a club playing music.'