This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.

So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around.

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.

I worship the quicksand he walks in.

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.

Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is only time we have.

Whether its the best of times or the worst of times its the only time weve got.

There isnt a child who hasnt gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesnt return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes.

Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.

Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.

The things that matter most are not things.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

I had been offered a Hollywood contract before my 18th birthday. It gave me the spark I needed.

I told my father I wanted to play the banjo, and so he saved the money and got ready to give me a banjo for my next birthday, and between that time and my birthday, I lost interest in the banjo and was playing guitar.

I love photography. My boyfriend's got a great camera, which I bought for his birthday.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to remember it once.

It was my 16th birthday - my mom and dad gave me my Goya classical guitar that day. I sat down, wrote this song, and I just knew that that was the only thing I could ever really do - write songs and sing them to people.

Well, I started conducting kind of by accident. I wanted to give myself a special birthday present for my fortieth birthday, and I was living in San Francisco at the time and I started attending some of the concerts and then simply dropping hints.

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.

You know, we'd just had a birthday, he was... you know, he still had a future out of him, and all I can is he was just one of the most beautiful people in the world... a very gifted man, and it's a loss to the world, not just for us.

It is ironic that the one thing that all religions recognize as separating us from our creator, our very self-consciousness, is also the one thing that divides us from our fellow creatures. It was a bitter birthday present from evolution.

With a recent birthday, I've been acting now for twenty years.

On my birthday, I was in Milan for the collections.

I crashed my boyfriend's birthday when I was 12 years old. He didn't invite me and so I showed up.

I wasn't very good about juggling family and my career. I was interested in who was coming to the children's birthday party, what my son was writing. I was thinking about Legos.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'

My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I said I wanted to read poetry with her.

The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday.

I'm trying to get the record that I made at my birthday party last year, trying to get that out, and the lawyers are diddling around with it and it probably won't be out until next year. I don't know.

I had arranged a birthday party for him and my children, who are all Aquarians. Instead, we got married. I ran out of excuses. It was just us and my children.

My second play, The Birthday Party, I wrote in 1958 - or 1957. It was totally destroyed by the critics of the day, who called it an absolute load of rubbish.

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.

My best kiss was on stage. Kelly Rowland from Destiny's Child gave me a really nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday. It was amazing.

I had a birthday one night on a farm we were shooting on. I walked into the tent, and there were 150 people waiting for me, all wearing masks of my face.

I play PC and Xbox games at home, and I just got a PSP as a birthday present.

I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind.

In 1993 my birthday present was a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame.

And currently, there are four to five new works in the pipeline for upcoming celebrations such as the Sydney 2000 Olympics, Australian Federation, my 50th Birthday, and Sydney Dance Company's 25th Anniversary.

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.