Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.

So far things are going my way. I am known in the hospice as The Man Who Wouldn't Die. I don't know if this is true or not, but I think some people, not many, are starting to wonder why I'm still around.

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.

I worship the quicksand he walks in.

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.

Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is only time we have.

Whether its the best of times or the worst of times its the only time weve got.

There isnt a child who hasnt gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesnt return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes.

Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.

Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.

The things that matter most are not things.

Fortunately, I happened to go east at a time when live television was centered in New York.

I'm not up on today's television for children, because it's mostly cartoons that don't seem to interest me.

The young people look great on television. They're youthful and have a lot of zip and energy, but when you see them live, they can only do about 20 minutes because they haven't got the training to hold an audience for an hour and a half or so.

At the University of Maryland, my first year I started off planning to major in art because I was interested in theatre design, stage design or television design.

It's about the power of design and the power of the human spirit. It's above paying anybody to do something stupid for money like reality television does - like ambushing people.

Baseball hasn't been the national pastime for many years now - no sport is. The national pastime, like it or not, is watching television.

Networks decide who will have a chance to do shows, but it is the viewers who make the final decision of who stays and who goes. I am very fortunate, in that the television viewers of our country have decided that Bob Barker can stay.

Twin Peaks was special because it was so groundbreaking. In the early '90s it really changed television a lot. A bunch of weird shows, like Northern Exposure, came on after that.

We're just dealing with the kind of warp and woof of television ratings.

I did I Love My Wife on Broadway in 1978, and then went into television land. Now things are starting to come together in the way I thought they might when I was a kid.

I think what we need is a more welcoming mode from the people who put on a hundred million country-western shows on television. How about a monthly jazz show?

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.

I've directed a fair amount of television series - so I'm always trying to learn new things. One episode was all hand-held and I'm trying to get better at when you should do things and when you should just shut up and watch what the people are saying.

Television's Mr. Filth: that's me.

I'd really been wanting to do a television series. I was looking for a comedy.

It gets kinda monotonous, but that's television. There are plus sides and down sides. The positive side is that you have steady work for nine months of the year for however many years your show is on TV,.

Without television and mass communication, that knowledge wouldn't exist. So I think it actually has the possibility of turning people into more understanding and more empathetic people.

It is a significant acknowledgment that the way people are watching television is changing and the model is quickly changing.

If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives.

Very often some of the religious miracle plays you see on television can be very corny, I find. And so simplistic.

I'm very wary of news on television.

Kennedy did not have to run the risk of having his ideas and his words shortened and adulterated by a correspondent. This was the television era, not only in campaigning, but in holding the presidency.

I've always just gone with the best role, and I don't care if it's in theater, film or television.

Bill Hanna and I owe an awful lot to television, but we both got our start and built the first phase of our partnership in the movies.

Roger King is, without a doubt, the greatest salesman in the history of anything. And I don't ever limit him just to television. He could sell you anything.

People talk about that catch and, I've said this many times, that I've made better catches than that many times in regular season. But of course in my time, you didn't have a lot of television during the regular season. A lot of people didn't see me do a lot of things.

I never weigh myself, but the brutal truth of television is that they don't employ old people or fat people.

It is a different genre - a show about something other than doctors, lawyers and cops. Teachers are something completely different. I think it makes for very interesting television.