Arthur Baer

His insomnia was so bad he couldnt sleep during office hours.

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.

She used to diet on any kind of food she could lay her hands on.

Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse.

Liquor - you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

Lefty Grove could throw a lamb chop past a wolf.

It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope.

His head was full of larceny, but his feet were honest.

If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they print only your thumbs.

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.

A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.