Bill Watterson

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

Im not a vegetarian Im a dessertarian.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

You can draw a penguin on a toilet reading The New York Times and it's adorable, but try doing it with an adult male character, and it's disgusting.

They can't chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can't contain it! Laws can't restrain it! Authority has no power over it!

If good things lasted forever would we appreciate how precious they are

If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

I think we dream so we don't have to be a part so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.

From now on Ill connect the dots my own way.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Heck, what's a little extortion among friends?

I like these cold gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.

That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.

They cant chain my spirit My spirit runs free Walls cant contain it Laws cant restrain it Authority has no power over it

Thats the whole problem with science. Youve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.

It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves.

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

I go to school but I never learn what I want to know.

I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart so long. If we’re in each other’s dreams, we can play together all night.

Repetition is the death of magic.

Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

Weekends dont count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

If your knees arent green by the end of the day you ought to seriously re examine your life.

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

I think the surest sign that there is intelligent life out there in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

It must be hard to cook if you anthropomorphisize your vegetables.

So the secret to good self esteem is to lower your expectations to the point where theyre already met

From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

Things are never quite as scary when youve got a best friend.

Shutting off the thought process is not rejuvenating; the mind is like a car battery - it recharges by running.

It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.

You can make your superhero a psychopath you can draw gut splattering violence and you can call it a graphic novel but comic books are still incredibly stupid.

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

A day can really slip by when you're deliberately avoiding what you're supposed to do.

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

What state do you live in Denial.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

Mothers are the necessity of invention.

The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't want the issue of Hobbes's reality settled by a doll manufacturer.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.

I won't eat any cereal that doesn't turn the milk purple.

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

Weekends don’t count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

We don't devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

A real job is a job you hate.

Genius is never understood in its own time.

Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.

So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it.

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations.

I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score and a laugh track.

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

Girls are like slugs they probably serve some purpose but its hard to imagine what.

A box of new crayons Now theyre all pointy lined up in order bright and perfect. Soon theyll be a bunch of ground down rounded indistinguishable stumps missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out.

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.